Today I ran .2 miles in 57 seconds. I ran so fast it scared me! It was amazing. That's all I did because I had to get ready for the evening. But I did that! And it was incredible.
Friday, December 5, 2014
I ran so fast it scared me!
Today was busy. I had my children at home, I have Christmas orders to get out for the business, and our ward had a Christmas party tonight that I had to cook two side dishes for. While the potatoes were boiling, I went out for a quick run. It was freezing, so the kids stayed inside. This meant I was limited to the alley behind my house, which is .2 miles long from beginning to end. I ran it a couple times for a little warm up. Then I really ran it using what i had figure out the other day about the difference between running faster and running fast.
Today I ran .2 miles in 57 seconds. I ran so fast it scared me! It was amazing. That's all I did because I had to get ready for the evening. But I did that! And it was incredible.
Today I ran .2 miles in 57 seconds. I ran so fast it scared me! It was amazing. That's all I did because I had to get ready for the evening. But I did that! And it was incredible.
Thursday, December 4, 2014
So busy, but still at it!
The holidays are always a busy time of year, whether you work or not. On top of it already being a busy time of year, my birthday falls at this time and it is the busiest time of year for my business!
A LOT has happened recently and I want to update on a few major things. These things have contributed to my running, so I want to share them. They are personal, Just an fyi. Extremely personal. But it is my life. It has made me who I am. It has fueled everything in my life I am passionate about. And some people aren't going to like what I have to say. So you can leave now if you are "sensitive."
I went to the temple for the first time in four years. For anyone not LDS, this is a place we go to to do work for our ancestors who have passed on. We go through once for ourselves. Here we make promises and covenants to Heavenly Father. We are supposed to live a certain way and a certain lifestyle to be able to go into the temple. The lifestyle we live ensures we are ready to make and keep the promises we make there.
I had been having a lot of negative feelings towards my husband that were residual from an incident with his sisters a few years ago. It was that single incident that made me not want to go to the temple. I trusted his sisters with my work and my business. And they failed. They disappointed. They didn't hold up their ends. They were a miserable disappointment to me and I learned that day that they can't be trusted or counted on for anything. I trusted them. And their betrayal hurt me so much that I couldn't bring myself to go to the temple. This is because to this day they are not right with me. Before we enter the temple we are asked a series of questions about our personal lives and lifestyles. One of them is "Are you honest in your dealings with your fellowmen?" I knew for a fact that one of his sisters was still attending the temple even though she had kept funds for work she failed to come through on. I understand that she was under the impression (because of my husband) that her debt was forgiven, but she is not right with me. She has not been honest with me in not returning the funds for work not done. Additionally, she has never accepted responsibility for being completely unreliable and untrustworthy towards me. I trusted her to come through for me during the busiest time in our business and neither of them could fulfill their agreement. Neither has accepted responsibility.
I was disgusted. My attitude toward the temple became very negative as I wondered how many other people went in who had been dishonest. I also thought that eternal life as a Laymon just sounded cruel. I didn't want to be related to these people that would treat another human being that way. I sought the counsel of my bishop and stake president. I have since learned how sealings of families in the temple works and I have reason to be peaceful about eternal life. But I still have to get through this one. So I decided to work toward going back to the temple. My negative feelings were eating me alive.
How does this relate to my running? Bad feelings, grudges, pain, betrayal, regret, all of these things weigh on you. And you can feel it. Depression literally makes every breath you take feel heavy. Your lungs feel weighed down. I started to run to cope with the stress of this incident that happened three years ago. It was so stressful I was hospitalized in January of 2012 for stroke symptoms. It was the worst thing I'd been through in my life. After I was hospitalized, I needed seomething to help my body cope with the stress. So I started running. Yes, I run to manage my EDS. But this was the root of my competitive running. Before, I'd run, swim, do a variety of workouts. But this incident lead to my sole focus on running. And the day I stopped letting these feelings run my life was the day I noticed my lungs felt lighter. I felt like I stood up straighter. I ran faster. I really saw what I was made of. I endured something so awful mentally that I was able to put my physical body to the test and saw what I could really do. What I am made of physically and mentally. Above all, I learned how much the mental and physical work together. Mind over matter. If you have something weighing on you you have to let it go or your mind will be weighed down and weigh down your body, your lungs, every breath. You have to let it go. You have to conquer your mind before you can conquer your body.
Anyway, we had planned this temple trip. And I was scared to death! I knew going there was either going to make me or break me. I was either going to go in and feel peaceful or I was going to go in and feel awful and give up on my eternal perspective of life. The week leading up to the temple was terrible. I had so much anxiety. I canceled the trip twice! But we ended up going, of course. And the entire drive up there my mind was empty. It was completely clear. I thought I would freak out and have anxiety. But I was totally clear.
When I walked into the temple and went throughout my work, I thought for sure I was going to receive some sort of revelation: "Oh, poor Melissa. There is a special place in heaven for you for having to deal with people who would treat you so poorly and never even acknowledge your feelings or accept responsibility." Nope. It doesn't work that way. I did receive personal revelation for myself, but it was not what I thought it would be. I learned that I am obsessed with how poorly my husband's family treats people and how little regard they give to others feelings. This is because I have OCD. I have a tendency to obsess about certain things. And I obsess about his family and how they suck at being people, are completely untrustworthy and unreliable, and have no regard for other people. I have to let them go. I learned that I have to give them up the way addicts give up their addictions. I am addicted to his families behaviors. I had to let them go.
I walked out of the temple that day with complete peace of mind and peace in my heart. I feel lighter. I cannot stress enough how much anger affects your physical body. Stress and anger and have put weight on my body, made me look ten years older than I should and slow down my running!
I was confused that day in the temple. I had continued to make efforts to be friends with his family and I thought, "Don't these things make me a good person? A better person?" And the answer I received to my question was, "Not doing them won't make you a bad person." So I am no longer the first to write the email, the first to make the phone call, etc. If they contact me I respond. But I don't make an effort anymore. I don't think about them anymore, don't think about how I can improve my relationship with them. They aren't a part of my life anymore.
My first run after this revelation was two days after the temple trip. Running was so much different when I wasn't doing it to cope. It was. . . fun! It was fun to count how many times my feet were hitting the pavement instead of counting the amount of dollars that had not been returned for their failures. It was fun to lengthen my strides to see how far I could bound rather than lengthening my stride to see how high I could get my heart rate so I could get delirious and forget the thoughts that consumed my head. Each breath felt effortless and welcomed. Each heart beat that pounded through my chest was a welcomed reminder that I was alive rather than a sad reminder that I was alive. I remember even laughing out loud at one point out how ridiculously enjoyable this run was. I had been working so hard to run in the midst of negativity, bad thought, heavy head, heavy legs, heavy lungs. I worked for three years to figure out how to run through that. And all it took was 3 hours in the temple to lighten all of that. I thought all those years I was improving. But I didn't improve and get any better until I let go of my anger, frustration and all negative feelings.
It's been three weeks now since this revelation. And I have made more progress in three weeks than I did in three years of training. I wish I had overcome this sooner. Get rid of the people in your life that you can't trust. The people in the life that are going to fail you and be a disappointment. The people who don't acknowledge you or your feelings. I wish I had done that sooner. But it had to happen for me slowly so I could learn what I did. It needed to happen in stages. After these last few weeks I have a new confidence in myself. I am going to meet USATF qualifications. And when I do, I'll have his sisters to thank. I never would have learned the roll that letting things go plays in achieving your goals. While I have them to thank, I probably won't. I've given them enough myself, my money, my trust, my life. I won't give any more to them. From now on it's for me. It's for my kids. It's for my marriage. I ran to cope so I could still be a human being to my kids and my husband. But not anymore. Now it's because it helps me manage my EDS, helps me teach my kids to manage their EDS and frustrations in life, and above all, the rapid heart rate I get from running a mile in 6:45 is a blissful and welcomed reminder that I am alive! That I am a human being! That I have a beautiful blessed life!
Before, I was not a whole person. I ran to feel something. To feel the pain of mortality as I'd dealt with my EDS. I ran to try to be a better person, a better mom, a better friend because it removed the negative thoughts from my mind. But now it's completely reversed. I now am able to run because I am a better mom, I am a better person and I am a better trustworthy friend who will always come through and never betray. All these things improve me mentally and likewise physically as opposed to being the things that are keeping me down. I am a whole person now. Now that I am the better person I am as I have been working so hard on improving myself (and continue to work on myself) I run with confidence, not baggage.
I run fast because my pounding heart beat is a welcomed reminder that I am alive! It is a beautiful life.
A LOT has happened recently and I want to update on a few major things. These things have contributed to my running, so I want to share them. They are personal, Just an fyi. Extremely personal. But it is my life. It has made me who I am. It has fueled everything in my life I am passionate about. And some people aren't going to like what I have to say. So you can leave now if you are "sensitive."
I went to the temple for the first time in four years. For anyone not LDS, this is a place we go to to do work for our ancestors who have passed on. We go through once for ourselves. Here we make promises and covenants to Heavenly Father. We are supposed to live a certain way and a certain lifestyle to be able to go into the temple. The lifestyle we live ensures we are ready to make and keep the promises we make there.
I had been having a lot of negative feelings towards my husband that were residual from an incident with his sisters a few years ago. It was that single incident that made me not want to go to the temple. I trusted his sisters with my work and my business. And they failed. They disappointed. They didn't hold up their ends. They were a miserable disappointment to me and I learned that day that they can't be trusted or counted on for anything. I trusted them. And their betrayal hurt me so much that I couldn't bring myself to go to the temple. This is because to this day they are not right with me. Before we enter the temple we are asked a series of questions about our personal lives and lifestyles. One of them is "Are you honest in your dealings with your fellowmen?" I knew for a fact that one of his sisters was still attending the temple even though she had kept funds for work she failed to come through on. I understand that she was under the impression (because of my husband) that her debt was forgiven, but she is not right with me. She has not been honest with me in not returning the funds for work not done. Additionally, she has never accepted responsibility for being completely unreliable and untrustworthy towards me. I trusted her to come through for me during the busiest time in our business and neither of them could fulfill their agreement. Neither has accepted responsibility.
I was disgusted. My attitude toward the temple became very negative as I wondered how many other people went in who had been dishonest. I also thought that eternal life as a Laymon just sounded cruel. I didn't want to be related to these people that would treat another human being that way. I sought the counsel of my bishop and stake president. I have since learned how sealings of families in the temple works and I have reason to be peaceful about eternal life. But I still have to get through this one. So I decided to work toward going back to the temple. My negative feelings were eating me alive.
How does this relate to my running? Bad feelings, grudges, pain, betrayal, regret, all of these things weigh on you. And you can feel it. Depression literally makes every breath you take feel heavy. Your lungs feel weighed down. I started to run to cope with the stress of this incident that happened three years ago. It was so stressful I was hospitalized in January of 2012 for stroke symptoms. It was the worst thing I'd been through in my life. After I was hospitalized, I needed seomething to help my body cope with the stress. So I started running. Yes, I run to manage my EDS. But this was the root of my competitive running. Before, I'd run, swim, do a variety of workouts. But this incident lead to my sole focus on running. And the day I stopped letting these feelings run my life was the day I noticed my lungs felt lighter. I felt like I stood up straighter. I ran faster. I really saw what I was made of. I endured something so awful mentally that I was able to put my physical body to the test and saw what I could really do. What I am made of physically and mentally. Above all, I learned how much the mental and physical work together. Mind over matter. If you have something weighing on you you have to let it go or your mind will be weighed down and weigh down your body, your lungs, every breath. You have to let it go. You have to conquer your mind before you can conquer your body.
Anyway, we had planned this temple trip. And I was scared to death! I knew going there was either going to make me or break me. I was either going to go in and feel peaceful or I was going to go in and feel awful and give up on my eternal perspective of life. The week leading up to the temple was terrible. I had so much anxiety. I canceled the trip twice! But we ended up going, of course. And the entire drive up there my mind was empty. It was completely clear. I thought I would freak out and have anxiety. But I was totally clear.
When I walked into the temple and went throughout my work, I thought for sure I was going to receive some sort of revelation: "Oh, poor Melissa. There is a special place in heaven for you for having to deal with people who would treat you so poorly and never even acknowledge your feelings or accept responsibility." Nope. It doesn't work that way. I did receive personal revelation for myself, but it was not what I thought it would be. I learned that I am obsessed with how poorly my husband's family treats people and how little regard they give to others feelings. This is because I have OCD. I have a tendency to obsess about certain things. And I obsess about his family and how they suck at being people, are completely untrustworthy and unreliable, and have no regard for other people. I have to let them go. I learned that I have to give them up the way addicts give up their addictions. I am addicted to his families behaviors. I had to let them go.
I walked out of the temple that day with complete peace of mind and peace in my heart. I feel lighter. I cannot stress enough how much anger affects your physical body. Stress and anger and have put weight on my body, made me look ten years older than I should and slow down my running!
I was confused that day in the temple. I had continued to make efforts to be friends with his family and I thought, "Don't these things make me a good person? A better person?" And the answer I received to my question was, "Not doing them won't make you a bad person." So I am no longer the first to write the email, the first to make the phone call, etc. If they contact me I respond. But I don't make an effort anymore. I don't think about them anymore, don't think about how I can improve my relationship with them. They aren't a part of my life anymore.
My first run after this revelation was two days after the temple trip. Running was so much different when I wasn't doing it to cope. It was. . . fun! It was fun to count how many times my feet were hitting the pavement instead of counting the amount of dollars that had not been returned for their failures. It was fun to lengthen my strides to see how far I could bound rather than lengthening my stride to see how high I could get my heart rate so I could get delirious and forget the thoughts that consumed my head. Each breath felt effortless and welcomed. Each heart beat that pounded through my chest was a welcomed reminder that I was alive rather than a sad reminder that I was alive. I remember even laughing out loud at one point out how ridiculously enjoyable this run was. I had been working so hard to run in the midst of negativity, bad thought, heavy head, heavy legs, heavy lungs. I worked for three years to figure out how to run through that. And all it took was 3 hours in the temple to lighten all of that. I thought all those years I was improving. But I didn't improve and get any better until I let go of my anger, frustration and all negative feelings.
It's been three weeks now since this revelation. And I have made more progress in three weeks than I did in three years of training. I wish I had overcome this sooner. Get rid of the people in your life that you can't trust. The people in the life that are going to fail you and be a disappointment. The people who don't acknowledge you or your feelings. I wish I had done that sooner. But it had to happen for me slowly so I could learn what I did. It needed to happen in stages. After these last few weeks I have a new confidence in myself. I am going to meet USATF qualifications. And when I do, I'll have his sisters to thank. I never would have learned the roll that letting things go plays in achieving your goals. While I have them to thank, I probably won't. I've given them enough myself, my money, my trust, my life. I won't give any more to them. From now on it's for me. It's for my kids. It's for my marriage. I ran to cope so I could still be a human being to my kids and my husband. But not anymore. Now it's because it helps me manage my EDS, helps me teach my kids to manage their EDS and frustrations in life, and above all, the rapid heart rate I get from running a mile in 6:45 is a blissful and welcomed reminder that I am alive! That I am a human being! That I have a beautiful blessed life!
Before, I was not a whole person. I ran to feel something. To feel the pain of mortality as I'd dealt with my EDS. I ran to try to be a better person, a better mom, a better friend because it removed the negative thoughts from my mind. But now it's completely reversed. I now am able to run because I am a better mom, I am a better person and I am a better trustworthy friend who will always come through and never betray. All these things improve me mentally and likewise physically as opposed to being the things that are keeping me down. I am a whole person now. Now that I am the better person I am as I have been working so hard on improving myself (and continue to work on myself) I run with confidence, not baggage.
I run fast because my pounding heart beat is a welcomed reminder that I am alive! It is a beautiful life.
Tuesday, November 4, 2014
Just a Tuesday
Did 4 by 400s. I should be at 4 by 800s comfortably right now, but it just wasn't going to happen today. Haven't been sleeping very much and am starting to feel it.
But I was pleasantly surprised today. I started my first 400 and I had to slow down for a few seconds to make a wardrobe adjustment. I've lost weight and now when I run my pants fall down :) Not complaining, but it definitely doesn't help speed training. BUT after I completed the lap I looked at my watch. I did it in 1:34 even with the slow down for adjustment! Woohoo! That's a record for me. Now I just need cut of 10 seconds from that and I'll be within my time frame for USATF qualification. That is, if I can do four of those at once after I cut ten seconds off. :) ha! Well, it's going to take time, but I proved to myself today that it can happen. Last week I was running 400m in 1;50, so I have made improvement. And it felt comfortable too. All of those factors together give me hope that I might actually make my quals for USATF. I really need to start my LSRs. I'm doing great now on my speed and drills, etc, but I really need to get a weekly LSR in. I haven't been able to because it's so much time. But I really need to start working those in.
My kids came with me to the track tonight to run and play. I have to say, my son may run like a velociraptor, but that kid can haul!
Felling great and mostly free of injury. This week I've been feeling a little twinge in my psoas. But I'm hoping to just work through it. EDS pain is unpleasant this week, but not terrible. Last week is was awful. But this week it's just annoying. :) I can handle annoying. Mostly back and hip stuff and my shoulder has been dislocating in my sleep. But that's how it goes. Whatevs.
But I was pleasantly surprised today. I started my first 400 and I had to slow down for a few seconds to make a wardrobe adjustment. I've lost weight and now when I run my pants fall down :) Not complaining, but it definitely doesn't help speed training. BUT after I completed the lap I looked at my watch. I did it in 1:34 even with the slow down for adjustment! Woohoo! That's a record for me. Now I just need cut of 10 seconds from that and I'll be within my time frame for USATF qualification. That is, if I can do four of those at once after I cut ten seconds off. :) ha! Well, it's going to take time, but I proved to myself today that it can happen. Last week I was running 400m in 1;50, so I have made improvement. And it felt comfortable too. All of those factors together give me hope that I might actually make my quals for USATF. I really need to start my LSRs. I'm doing great now on my speed and drills, etc, but I really need to get a weekly LSR in. I haven't been able to because it's so much time. But I really need to start working those in.
My kids came with me to the track tonight to run and play. I have to say, my son may run like a velociraptor, but that kid can haul!
Felling great and mostly free of injury. This week I've been feeling a little twinge in my psoas. But I'm hoping to just work through it. EDS pain is unpleasant this week, but not terrible. Last week is was awful. But this week it's just annoying. :) I can handle annoying. Mostly back and hip stuff and my shoulder has been dislocating in my sleep. But that's how it goes. Whatevs.
Saturday, October 25, 2014
Mom visiting!
My mom has been visiting. So i've been getting a lot done. I've got a lot of work done and I've been able to go out and run every day. I had a bit of a set back this week with both a cold and severe back pain. But my drill exercises, specifically the birddogging exercise, helped strengthen my back A TON. I feel a lot better. Garren and I are going out to run today with the kids. Next month I'll be purchasing my Rock n Roll Marathon year pass and will be registering for all my qual races. Here we go!
Monday, October 20, 2014
Piedmont Pacers! And breathing technique training.
I was accepted this weekend into the Piedmont Pacers USATF Running Club. It's out of Greensboro, which is two hours away. But it's the closest one to me. I now have one year to meet all USATF standards. And you'd better believe that was enough motivation for me to kick it in high gear. My mom is visiting for two weeks and I am getting lots of training in while I she plays with the kids :) Tomorrow, though, she plans to do some running with me :)
Tonight I ran five miles. Tonight's run was focused on breathing training. And I can feel that my lungs had a good work out! I sucked on life savers while I ran. That forced me to keep my mouth closed and breathe only through my nose.
I am so tired, but I need to do some work tonight. 'Tis the season to order window treatments :)
Tonight I ran five miles. Tonight's run was focused on breathing training. And I can feel that my lungs had a good work out! I sucked on life savers while I ran. That forced me to keep my mouth closed and breathe only through my nose.
I am so tired, but I need to do some work tonight. 'Tis the season to order window treatments :)
Tuesday, October 14, 2014
Post recovery
I took some time off to let a lot of things that were bugging me heal. I had designated today as my return day a long time ago. This is what the day looked like:
Train in the rain. Wasn't so bad. I ran all 6.7 miles of red loop at Ragnar in the rain. So it was NO big deal. But I was Spectacularly slow. And with the amount of time I took off I have to start my training program again. Until I get a running coach, I am using the training program designed by the Boston Athletics Association. I am doing the Advanced program found here. It was originally intended that the end of the training would fall on Richmond race day. but that isn't going to happen. I tore something in my arch and had to let that heal for two weeks. Set me back significantly. So I need to rework some things.
A few things are working in my favor: temperatures cooling, work is going really smooth, kids are finally settled in to the school and after school schedule AND I am finally losing the weight put on when I wasn't training while healing from my psoas injury for 8 months. So I'm looking forward to getting back into it.
Back at it and feeling great! Follow my instagram or twitter @MelRunTheWorld .
Tuesday, September 30, 2014
Catch up
Okie dokie, here we go.
I went camping with the kids and hubs this weekend, so I am playing catch up here.
Saturday, I ran 5 miles (I was exhausted. I don't camp well).
Yesterday (Monday) I did (2) 4 x 800s and I should have rested after that, but I didn't. So
Today, I ran 2 fast miles and did some strength training.
I'm super busy with work right now getting blog posts written for the month of October. But hoping to get all that done and out of the way so I can get back to hard core training.
Added some (2) 4 x 800 pics on instagram @melruntheworld. LOL
I went camping with the kids and hubs this weekend, so I am playing catch up here.
Saturday, I ran 5 miles (I was exhausted. I don't camp well).
Yesterday (Monday) I did (2) 4 x 800s and I should have rested after that, but I didn't. So
Today, I ran 2 fast miles and did some strength training.
I'm super busy with work right now getting blog posts written for the month of October. But hoping to get all that done and out of the way so I can get back to hard core training.
Added some (2) 4 x 800 pics on instagram @melruntheworld. LOL
Wednesday, September 24, 2014
Rain or shine!
It rained today. The kids didn't mind. When I need to do drills on the track the kids like to come with me to play in the sandbox or on the play ground near the track. It was just a light drizzle. I did all my drills AND my core workout. Feeling great today!
I'm still taking it easy so that my arch can continue to heal.
I am continuing to do pretty well on the runners diet. What I'd really like to do, if I can find money to do it with, is go to a clinical nutritionist. When I diet I feel out of wack because I have low blood pressure and low blood sugar because of hypoglycemia. I need to find some balance.
Weather today: cold and rainy
EDS pain, some in the knees because of the weather..
Stress level: High! My assistant had surgery today and I'm pretty sure the business is going to crumble in her short absence :) She's that good. Also, one of my seamstresses is thinking of quiting and it's our busiest time of year, so I'm kind of freaking out. I like everything the way it is right now and I don't want to go back to the production end of the business.
Hoping to do a long run tomorrow night if my foot is up for the challenge. We'll see.
That's all for today.
I'm still taking it easy so that my arch can continue to heal.
I am continuing to do pretty well on the runners diet. What I'd really like to do, if I can find money to do it with, is go to a clinical nutritionist. When I diet I feel out of wack because I have low blood pressure and low blood sugar because of hypoglycemia. I need to find some balance.
Weather today: cold and rainy
EDS pain, some in the knees because of the weather..
Stress level: High! My assistant had surgery today and I'm pretty sure the business is going to crumble in her short absence :) She's that good. Also, one of my seamstresses is thinking of quiting and it's our busiest time of year, so I'm kind of freaking out. I like everything the way it is right now and I don't want to go back to the production end of the business.
Hoping to do a long run tomorrow night if my foot is up for the challenge. We'll see.
That's all for today.
Monday, September 22, 2014
No time to write, but. . .
. . . I ran 7.1 miles tonight. It was supposed to be an LSR, but I ran until 9 pm and it had already been dark for about 45 minutes. I was running in well lit places and along busy streets, but I don't see well in the dark and I kept missing all the little sidewalk slants and bumps and it was going to mess me up. Felt really good though. When I tried to stop running my legs felt like they wanted to keep going. You know that feeling??
Weather: Perfect, 70 degrees
EDS pain: usual back and spine pain (My spine is collapsing on itself), but nothing I couldn't work through
Stress level: mmm. . . probably middle ground there, 5 out of 10, I'd say. Things have picked up at work. It's probably the best month we've ever had in history. We made as much in revenue this month (and it's only the 22) as we did the first year we were open. That gives me a little bit of anxiety. . . I hope I have prepared my team enough to meet the challenge!
Overall mood: Great, very happy. Things are going smoothly, kids are happy and well. Had a very clear head when I headed out for my run. I was very focused.
Weather: Perfect, 70 degrees
EDS pain: usual back and spine pain (My spine is collapsing on itself), but nothing I couldn't work through
Stress level: mmm. . . probably middle ground there, 5 out of 10, I'd say. Things have picked up at work. It's probably the best month we've ever had in history. We made as much in revenue this month (and it's only the 22) as we did the first year we were open. That gives me a little bit of anxiety. . . I hope I have prepared my team enough to meet the challenge!
Overall mood: Great, very happy. Things are going smoothly, kids are happy and well. Had a very clear head when I headed out for my run. I was very focused.
Thursday, September 18, 2014
How I came to run a 7:36 minute mile.
This blog was never intended to be read. It has served as a record of my progress, mostly. It started as a record of the journey of my mother and I from immobility to a half marathon. But I am still using it to record my journey since the journey of Ehlers-Danlos is never over. Anyway, I have invited some people to read the blog today, but before I begin that message I will continue as normal.
Weather: Great. mid 70s.
Pain level: very mild. Had some hip pain due to weather causing inflamed joints, but nothing I couldn't deal with.
Stress level: Through the roof. Had some unwelcomed information vomited on me today. For the first time ever I wished I was deaf and blind. Can't hear the info, can't read the text. But it was this distressing news that inspired my blog post and invite to others and also contributed to my awesome day.
Dislocations this week: Zero.
My kids had swim lessons (40 minutes long). With the 30 minutes I had, I decided to see if I could run a 5k in that time. Mile 1: 7:52, Mile 2: 8:03, Mile 3: 8:16. And I still feel great. About to put in a night's work! Normally after I do a fast run I'm beat for the night. But I still feel up to getting some work done tonight. (Best mile yet, 7:36).
Now on to the blog post.
Chronic pain is a very lonely thing to experience. There is no one else that knows *exactly* what you are feeling. Pain can be so intense that it becomes all consuming. You have selfish thoughts and feelings about the sweet release that death would bring. Others get angry at these selfish thoughts and feelings as they do not understand that chronic pain can consume your entire being to the point that you are incapable of thinking of anything else. So of course we aren't thinking about you in that moment. The pain has taken all control of your mental faculties. It is unrealistic to think one could manage even the slightest concern for others.
In 2009 my husband and I decided to have a second child. For someone with Ehlers-Danlos, this means going to a geneticist, evaluating the possibility of passing along the EDS to baby, discussing options, blabbidy blee blabbidy bloo. . . That meeting was pointless because I am pretty sure I went and did everything they told me not to do. They told me not to have another baby. Well, I decided that my first pregnancy wasn't so bad, so surely the second would be okay. It wasn't. And this was apparent as early as six weeks. At ten weeks they told me to abort the baby. Didn't do that either. Well, they told me a bunch of other stuff that I didn't really pay attention to. . . Geneticist bore me to death.
I was sick all day every day. I was put on zofran, an anti nausea that is often given to chemo-therapy patients. I had to go to my mom's for a month so she could take care of my son while I prayed to the porcelain gods day in and day out. I was keen on setting up camp in my mother's guest room. I think I had sufficiently marked it my territory. But I decided to return home at 18 weeks into the pregnancy as it felt cruel to keep my son from his father for so long. Upon returning I started to dislocate daily: knees, hips, shoulders, you name it. I was having trouble walking from about 14 weeks on, but had to resort to a cane at about 18 or 19 weeks. At this point I became high risk and had to go to the doctor every week. At one of these appointments I couldn't even get onto the doctor's table for my evaluation. I couldn't sit either. I could barely stand. I basically couldn't even stand being alive at that moment. The doctor put a pillow on the floor and I knelt on it on my knees and sat on feet. He then checked the heartbeat and did all the normal doctor visit stuff. I begged him to tie my tubes after baby was born. His response, "Well, I don't like to do that in women so young. They always regret it." I was 23 at this time.
So on I went trying to function and take care of a toddler. It was a well orchestrated daily routine of feed child, hurl, dislocate, change diapers, vomit again, pad de burre, chasse, step ball change, rinse and repeat!
At twenty two weeks I had a weird pain in my abdomen. I called my high risk doctor and he had me poke around my abdomen and describe things to him. He said, "Call your husband at work. Tell him to drive you to the emergency room and tell the first person you see that you are 22 weeks pregnant and have appendicitis." FOR THE LOVE! Of course, my husband rode his bike to work that day. OF COURSE! So his co worker drove him home, then he drove me to the hospital, then I had an appendectomy. Awesome. Did I mention it was Halloween? And I missed my darling boy experience the first Halloween that he really knew what was going on? yah, good times. . .
Anyone with EDS knows that not moving around makes you more prone to dislocations and loose joints. So I had a few weeks of recovery where I didn't do much moving around. I was dislocating everything all the time. I tried to go to the arthritis classes at the gym. And the sweet little old people there would say, "Honey, I think you're in the wrong class." It got to the point where I couldn't even get to my high risk doctor's appointments! I couldn't walk to my car. I couldn't even walk to the bathroom. I couldn't take care of my kid. I had five REALLY good friends that took him each day of the week for a few weeks and then my husband would pick him up at the end of the day. I had a large body pillow that I put beside the bed. I would roll out of bed onto this pillow and pull myself with my arms to the bathroom.
I made it to my 32 week appointment. I begged the doctor to end it all and just take her out. He asked me when my mom was coming out to help me. I told him we were still two weeks away from her coming out. He said, "When she comes out, just lay in bed and cry for two weeks, then we'll take her out." Little did he know I HAD ALREADY BEEN DOING THAT FOR WEEKS!
Getting up off the floor or the couch was always a Herculean effort. I would get in a hands and knees position then pull myself up. I got in that position and then had a herniated disc. I got stuck in that position. I asked my son to go get my phone, but he didn't know where it was. I had to stay like like for hours until my husband got home. Toddler was hungry, needed a diaper change, crying and I couldn't do anything. I was just stuck.
The next week I dislocated my right hip. I couldn't get it back in place. It started to swell after three days. My doctor tried to put it back in and couldn't get it.
So we decided to have little miss Miriam. At this point, my doctor medically advised I have a tubal ligation. Yah, told you that twenty weeks ago, big guy.
I was still experiencing morning sickness. I threw up twice the day Miriam was born. And she was born at NOON! I didn't tell the doctors because they kept putting off the c-section thinking I would vomit during the procedure. They wanted to wait till later since according to their sound knowledge, morning sickness only occurs in the morning. Hmmmmm. . . .
I was given a spinal that felt like wild fire spreading through my body. It was a horrible feeling. Then they told me to lie on my back. First of all, lying on my back was a pain WORSE than childbirth with my EDS and second, I was paralyzed from the waist down so I wasn't really sure how they wanted me to do that. Nurses assisted, and I howled like a banshee the whole time. They let my husband come in at this point. They don't let them in for the needle stuff because it makes them faint. haha! (They made him sign a piece of paper that said if he fainted during the delivery they were going to leave him on the floor because mom and baby are number 1). Anyway, I cried and howled through the whole delivery, which took 49 minutes. It was awful. I wanted them to knock me entirely out so badly, but they just wouldn't do it. EDS makes people feel pain more acutely and we do not respond very well to pain meds. I felt much of the procedure even though I had been given the spinal. I got the shakes from the meds and had to be tied down. It was the worst thing I ever felt. The procedure took so long because I had tons of scar tissue from my previous c section. They couldn't even get Miriam out because the scar tissue was so thick. They had to vacuum her out.
Once she was out, they proceeded with the tubal ligation. Not only did he cut the tubes, he cut out an inch of each one, burned the edges then buried the ends in my organs. He wanted to seal this deal! He put the one inch pieces of my fallopian tubes in a jar and showed them to me saying, "No more babies!" It was a little creepy, but it was a welcomed gesture meant to relieve my anxieties.
After I got home, I still experienced a lot of EDS problems. I would dislocate my knees every time I changed Miriam. I struggled with intense hip pain. On some days it was even too much to stand.
I returned to the arthritis classes so I could try to strengthen the muscle and tissue around my joints to keep them from dislocating. When that made me stronger, I decided to get a rehab physical therapist to teach me how far to go on the weight machines (with the flexibility of EDS, I can go ALLL the way on those strength training weight machines). The therapist showed me at what point to stop on all the machines. I used them regularly to build up my strength. One night I decided to start walking. I made it all the way around the block! I walked further distances until one day I decided to see if I could run. I ran all the way around the block. .2 miles. It took me about ten minutes! ha! I probably walked faster than I ran! I thought, If I can run around the block, surely I can run a half marathon! Hahaha. I tend to be a bit extreme when I decide to do something. . .
So I registered for my first half marathon which kept me working on running and focusing on my mobility. I ran the Dublin, Ireland Rock N Roll Half Marathon in 2:57. :) My goal was to make it under three hours. My mom ran it with me. She also suffers from EDS. We decided to make it a huge deal and run it in Ireland because IT WAS A HUGE DEAL! I went from being immobile to running a half marathon!
I continue to improve since that time and feel more in control of my body than I ever have in my life. I have little to no joint pain. I have gone from dislocating daily to dislocating maybe once or twice a month. I can play with my kids. I can take care of my house! I can be around other people and care about them because my entire being is not consumed by chronic pain!
I am still working at it and improving each day! I can run a mile faster than I ever imagined. I can run for hours with ease and comfort. I hope to continue to work hard and improve. Ultimately, I have a goal of running in the NYC, Boston , London or any other Marathon Majors race! And, probably dreaming, but it would be super awesome to make Olympic Trial. So. . . I'm just going to do it. Okay?
Another part of this running thing is that it helps me cope. My husband and I would have loved to bring more children into our loving home and family. I get sad often thinking of what great big siblings Josh and Miriam would be. It makes me frustrated and angry sometimes that my body can't do what it should naturally be able to do, what it was intended to do! Running helps me cope with the sadness of not being able to do what I want. Running puts me in charge of my body. EDS was in charge for a short time and took away from me the ability to have children. But I'm taking my body back!
I'm in charge now. I'm going to tell my body what we're going to do today instead of it telling me what it wants to do. So guess what, body? We're going to go to Olympic Trial in July 2016. Okay, body? Got it?! That's what we're going to do.
I've been in touch with Roanoke Valley Elite, a running club that trains professional competitive athletes. They like my story and think it will attract sponsors :) They are in a brief hiatus at the moment looking for a new chair person. Which is okay with me because it gives me more time to work on my qualifying times to get on their team.
Today's blog post is brought to you by the letters F and U. EFF YOU EDS! Consider my incredibly successful run this evening as a swift kick in the pants to you, EDS. A flip of the bird. I bight my thumb at you, EDS. You're no longer welcome to dwell in this body, Jerk.
Weather: Great. mid 70s.
Pain level: very mild. Had some hip pain due to weather causing inflamed joints, but nothing I couldn't deal with.
Stress level: Through the roof. Had some unwelcomed information vomited on me today. For the first time ever I wished I was deaf and blind. Can't hear the info, can't read the text. But it was this distressing news that inspired my blog post and invite to others and also contributed to my awesome day.
Dislocations this week: Zero.
My kids had swim lessons (40 minutes long). With the 30 minutes I had, I decided to see if I could run a 5k in that time. Mile 1: 7:52, Mile 2: 8:03, Mile 3: 8:16. And I still feel great. About to put in a night's work! Normally after I do a fast run I'm beat for the night. But I still feel up to getting some work done tonight. (Best mile yet, 7:36).
********************
Now on to the blog post.
Chronic pain is a very lonely thing to experience. There is no one else that knows *exactly* what you are feeling. Pain can be so intense that it becomes all consuming. You have selfish thoughts and feelings about the sweet release that death would bring. Others get angry at these selfish thoughts and feelings as they do not understand that chronic pain can consume your entire being to the point that you are incapable of thinking of anything else. So of course we aren't thinking about you in that moment. The pain has taken all control of your mental faculties. It is unrealistic to think one could manage even the slightest concern for others.
 |
| I want to note that I have lost weight since this picture :) I sustained a significant injury that took me 8 months to heal from. I didn't do much running in that time :) |
I was sick all day every day. I was put on zofran, an anti nausea that is often given to chemo-therapy patients. I had to go to my mom's for a month so she could take care of my son while I prayed to the porcelain gods day in and day out. I was keen on setting up camp in my mother's guest room. I think I had sufficiently marked it my territory. But I decided to return home at 18 weeks into the pregnancy as it felt cruel to keep my son from his father for so long. Upon returning I started to dislocate daily: knees, hips, shoulders, you name it. I was having trouble walking from about 14 weeks on, but had to resort to a cane at about 18 or 19 weeks. At this point I became high risk and had to go to the doctor every week. At one of these appointments I couldn't even get onto the doctor's table for my evaluation. I couldn't sit either. I could barely stand. I basically couldn't even stand being alive at that moment. The doctor put a pillow on the floor and I knelt on it on my knees and sat on feet. He then checked the heartbeat and did all the normal doctor visit stuff. I begged him to tie my tubes after baby was born. His response, "Well, I don't like to do that in women so young. They always regret it." I was 23 at this time.
So on I went trying to function and take care of a toddler. It was a well orchestrated daily routine of feed child, hurl, dislocate, change diapers, vomit again, pad de burre, chasse, step ball change, rinse and repeat!
At twenty two weeks I had a weird pain in my abdomen. I called my high risk doctor and he had me poke around my abdomen and describe things to him. He said, "Call your husband at work. Tell him to drive you to the emergency room and tell the first person you see that you are 22 weeks pregnant and have appendicitis." FOR THE LOVE! Of course, my husband rode his bike to work that day. OF COURSE! So his co worker drove him home, then he drove me to the hospital, then I had an appendectomy. Awesome. Did I mention it was Halloween? And I missed my darling boy experience the first Halloween that he really knew what was going on? yah, good times. . .
Anyone with EDS knows that not moving around makes you more prone to dislocations and loose joints. So I had a few weeks of recovery where I didn't do much moving around. I was dislocating everything all the time. I tried to go to the arthritis classes at the gym. And the sweet little old people there would say, "Honey, I think you're in the wrong class." It got to the point where I couldn't even get to my high risk doctor's appointments! I couldn't walk to my car. I couldn't even walk to the bathroom. I couldn't take care of my kid. I had five REALLY good friends that took him each day of the week for a few weeks and then my husband would pick him up at the end of the day. I had a large body pillow that I put beside the bed. I would roll out of bed onto this pillow and pull myself with my arms to the bathroom.
I made it to my 32 week appointment. I begged the doctor to end it all and just take her out. He asked me when my mom was coming out to help me. I told him we were still two weeks away from her coming out. He said, "When she comes out, just lay in bed and cry for two weeks, then we'll take her out." Little did he know I HAD ALREADY BEEN DOING THAT FOR WEEKS!
Getting up off the floor or the couch was always a Herculean effort. I would get in a hands and knees position then pull myself up. I got in that position and then had a herniated disc. I got stuck in that position. I asked my son to go get my phone, but he didn't know where it was. I had to stay like like for hours until my husband got home. Toddler was hungry, needed a diaper change, crying and I couldn't do anything. I was just stuck.
The next week I dislocated my right hip. I couldn't get it back in place. It started to swell after three days. My doctor tried to put it back in and couldn't get it.
So we decided to have little miss Miriam. At this point, my doctor medically advised I have a tubal ligation. Yah, told you that twenty weeks ago, big guy.
I was still experiencing morning sickness. I threw up twice the day Miriam was born. And she was born at NOON! I didn't tell the doctors because they kept putting off the c-section thinking I would vomit during the procedure. They wanted to wait till later since according to their sound knowledge, morning sickness only occurs in the morning. Hmmmmm. . . .
I was given a spinal that felt like wild fire spreading through my body. It was a horrible feeling. Then they told me to lie on my back. First of all, lying on my back was a pain WORSE than childbirth with my EDS and second, I was paralyzed from the waist down so I wasn't really sure how they wanted me to do that. Nurses assisted, and I howled like a banshee the whole time. They let my husband come in at this point. They don't let them in for the needle stuff because it makes them faint. haha! (They made him sign a piece of paper that said if he fainted during the delivery they were going to leave him on the floor because mom and baby are number 1). Anyway, I cried and howled through the whole delivery, which took 49 minutes. It was awful. I wanted them to knock me entirely out so badly, but they just wouldn't do it. EDS makes people feel pain more acutely and we do not respond very well to pain meds. I felt much of the procedure even though I had been given the spinal. I got the shakes from the meds and had to be tied down. It was the worst thing I ever felt. The procedure took so long because I had tons of scar tissue from my previous c section. They couldn't even get Miriam out because the scar tissue was so thick. They had to vacuum her out.
Once she was out, they proceeded with the tubal ligation. Not only did he cut the tubes, he cut out an inch of each one, burned the edges then buried the ends in my organs. He wanted to seal this deal! He put the one inch pieces of my fallopian tubes in a jar and showed them to me saying, "No more babies!" It was a little creepy, but it was a welcomed gesture meant to relieve my anxieties.
After I got home, I still experienced a lot of EDS problems. I would dislocate my knees every time I changed Miriam. I struggled with intense hip pain. On some days it was even too much to stand.
So I registered for my first half marathon which kept me working on running and focusing on my mobility. I ran the Dublin, Ireland Rock N Roll Half Marathon in 2:57. :) My goal was to make it under three hours. My mom ran it with me. She also suffers from EDS. We decided to make it a huge deal and run it in Ireland because IT WAS A HUGE DEAL! I went from being immobile to running a half marathon!
I continue to improve since that time and feel more in control of my body than I ever have in my life. I have little to no joint pain. I have gone from dislocating daily to dislocating maybe once or twice a month. I can play with my kids. I can take care of my house! I can be around other people and care about them because my entire being is not consumed by chronic pain!
I am still working at it and improving each day! I can run a mile faster than I ever imagined. I can run for hours with ease and comfort. I hope to continue to work hard and improve. Ultimately, I have a goal of running in the NYC, Boston , London or any other Marathon Majors race! And, probably dreaming, but it would be super awesome to make Olympic Trial. So. . . I'm just going to do it. Okay?
Another part of this running thing is that it helps me cope. My husband and I would have loved to bring more children into our loving home and family. I get sad often thinking of what great big siblings Josh and Miriam would be. It makes me frustrated and angry sometimes that my body can't do what it should naturally be able to do, what it was intended to do! Running helps me cope with the sadness of not being able to do what I want. Running puts me in charge of my body. EDS was in charge for a short time and took away from me the ability to have children. But I'm taking my body back!
I'm in charge now. I'm going to tell my body what we're going to do today instead of it telling me what it wants to do. So guess what, body? We're going to go to Olympic Trial in July 2016. Okay, body? Got it?! That's what we're going to do.
I've been in touch with Roanoke Valley Elite, a running club that trains professional competitive athletes. They like my story and think it will attract sponsors :) They are in a brief hiatus at the moment looking for a new chair person. Which is okay with me because it gives me more time to work on my qualifying times to get on their team.
Today's blog post is brought to you by the letters F and U. EFF YOU EDS! Consider my incredibly successful run this evening as a swift kick in the pants to you, EDS. A flip of the bird. I bight my thumb at you, EDS. You're no longer welcome to dwell in this body, Jerk.
Wednesday, September 17, 2014
New plan!
Okay, finally have a minute to write down my new plan. . . before I forget it.
Side note, before I forget this too, Be sure to tune in tomorrow for my humorous look at running post child bearing. :)
Okay, her goes.
5K
Nashville, TN, April 25, 2015
Savannah, GA Nov 2015
10K
Portland, OR May 17 2015 (for time to get in a higher corral at next event)
Las Vegas, NV Nov 2015 (for qual)
Half Marathon
Washington, DC Mar 14, 2015 (for time)
Philadelphia, PA Sept 2015 (for qual)
Full
Raleigh, NC Or Nashville, TN April 12 or 26, 2015 (for time)
Virginia Beach, VA September 6, 2015 (for qual)
I shouldn't do a half and a full in the same month. so I need to rework that one. But this is the plan so far.
In other news, I did intervals tonight (2) 4x 400s Not my best times, but it's the first night I've actually run in ten days since I injured my arch. Feeling pretty good, but I'm still being cautious.
Side note, before I forget this too, Be sure to tune in tomorrow for my humorous look at running post child bearing. :)
Okay, her goes.
5K
Nashville, TN, April 25, 2015
Savannah, GA Nov 2015
10K
Portland, OR May 17 2015 (for time to get in a higher corral at next event)
Las Vegas, NV Nov 2015 (for qual)
Half Marathon
Washington, DC Mar 14, 2015 (for time)
Philadelphia, PA Sept 2015 (for qual)
Full
Raleigh, NC Or Nashville, TN April 12 or 26, 2015 (for time)
Virginia Beach, VA September 6, 2015 (for qual)
I shouldn't do a half and a full in the same month. so I need to rework that one. But this is the plan so far.
In other news, I did intervals tonight (2) 4x 400s Not my best times, but it's the first night I've actually run in ten days since I injured my arch. Feeling pretty good, but I'm still being cautious.
Tuesday, September 16, 2014
Work. . .
I run a custom window treatments business. We have employed 18 people. The idea behind this is so that I don't have to work :) I still make money off my seamstresses. But if I want to do something that costs money, like go to Disneyland, then I have to work. So I took on some work because I thought my injury would take a lot longer to heal. But it feels perfectly fine today! So I went out for a little run tonight. But then I started bleeding profusely. I'm grateful to be a woman. Really, I am! REALLY!
I did about an hours worth of drills yesterday after doing my kids piano lessons. An hour was all I had before I had to make dinner for the fam and get to work. I would have done more, otherwise. Miriam did my drills with me. She's precious. :) I started skipping and she couldn't figure it out. So she said she was just going to hop :)
So, I'm going to work my tail off this week and get these orders out, then I'm going to step it up next week. I hope. . . Life has a way of interfering with my big plans.
I did about an hours worth of drills yesterday after doing my kids piano lessons. An hour was all I had before I had to make dinner for the fam and get to work. I would have done more, otherwise. Miriam did my drills with me. She's precious. :) I started skipping and she couldn't figure it out. So she said she was just going to hop :)
So, I'm going to work my tail off this week and get these orders out, then I'm going to step it up next week. I hope. . . Life has a way of interfering with my big plans.
Saturday, September 13, 2014
Tear
I tore something in my arch. Might have to go see a doctor. It is starting to feel MUCH better because I have been taping it up and not running this week. Last night I did a few drills, nothing strenuous and nothing where I stretch my arch. Just a lot of flat feet landing type stuff. It felt great to move again!
I still need to update the new game plan, but with this injury the November marathon isn't going to happen. I don't have time today as I took on some work so we can attempt to go to my husband's Family reunion next summer. I just wanted to record really quickly that I did drills yesterday for one hour before I forgot to record that. Might have some time to write the updated plan tomorrow afternoon. I've been spending a lot of my down time writing blog posts for the business blog since we reinstated that at the beginning of the month.
Be back soon with details.
I still need to update the new game plan, but with this injury the November marathon isn't going to happen. I don't have time today as I took on some work so we can attempt to go to my husband's Family reunion next summer. I just wanted to record really quickly that I did drills yesterday for one hour before I forgot to record that. Might have some time to write the updated plan tomorrow afternoon. I've been spending a lot of my down time writing blog posts for the business blog since we reinstated that at the beginning of the month.
Be back soon with details.
Monday, September 8, 2014
Sad face.
Saturday, September 6, 2014
Face it!
Today's run was very telling. I'm definitely not going to be ready to run a marathon in the time I want by November. So I've had to rethink the plan. I've come up with a new one, but don't have time to share it today. But all I can say is that the Richmond marathon isn't happening in November. And I'm okay with that. But next year is going to be a big year in many ways. Sorry to be vague. I hate it when people are vague. But that's all I an say for right now.
Today was dangerously hot. It was 92 degrees when I started my run this morning. And t just got hotter and hotter. And the humidity was killer. I was really slow and got light headed often.
In other news, my mystery abdominal pain seems to have gone away. My business is finally in a position where I can let it get crazy without it affecting my own life. So bring on the orders! My kids are in school during the day now. And hockey season starts next Saturday :) So basically, life is good and I'm in a good mindset to continue training.
Also, I'm definitely buying the year pass for Rock n Roll marathons. What a great deal. In 2016 I might buy the world pass depending on if I've met my goals to go to olympic trial. Since I'm not so focused on the marathon in November anymore, I'm considering dabbling in other area like the 10,000 meter. Even trying for that will improve my marathon time so it doesn't really matter if I train for one or other. 10,000 m marathon trial is in Eugene, Oregon. I need to run a 10k in 32 minutes. hahaha!!!!!!! Laughable, now. But we shall seeeeeeee!
Today was dangerously hot. It was 92 degrees when I started my run this morning. And t just got hotter and hotter. And the humidity was killer. I was really slow and got light headed often.
In other news, my mystery abdominal pain seems to have gone away. My business is finally in a position where I can let it get crazy without it affecting my own life. So bring on the orders! My kids are in school during the day now. And hockey season starts next Saturday :) So basically, life is good and I'm in a good mindset to continue training.
Also, I'm definitely buying the year pass for Rock n Roll marathons. What a great deal. In 2016 I might buy the world pass depending on if I've met my goals to go to olympic trial. Since I'm not so focused on the marathon in November anymore, I'm considering dabbling in other area like the 10,000 meter. Even trying for that will improve my marathon time so it doesn't really matter if I train for one or other. 10,000 m marathon trial is in Eugene, Oregon. I need to run a 10k in 32 minutes. hahaha!!!!!!! Laughable, now. But we shall seeeeeeee!
Wednesday, September 3, 2014
Drill program
I'm sick :( And I didn't feel up to do anything today. But I did. TWICE! So today I started my drills. Here's the run down:
15 min jogging warm up
Skipping:
a) simple "school yard" skip at least 60 yards, then run back to the start and back the 60 yrds, then walk back to start
b) high knee skip at least 60 yards, run back to start then back again and walk back to start
c) long skipping. ugh. . . I can't figure this one out. Going to have to consult the coach on this one. . .
d) skip kicks (like the rockets) 60 yards, run out
Knees:
a) Flat foot march, 60 yards walk back to start
b) high knees, on toes, no skip 60 yards, walk back to start
c) Bounding, hopping forward (somehow this is in the knee category. . . )
Misc:
a) Foot shuffles, no knee lift 60 yards, jog and stride back
b) butt kicks, 60 yards, jog and stride back
c) Carrioca, latteral hip swivel, 60 yards one side, 60 yards the other sides run/walk back
d) hip thrust: with back flat on ground, shoulders down, knees up, thrust hip upward. Put fingers in back of shoes to make sure your feet are far enough back
Birddog:
a) shoulders over hands, hips over knees, extend opposite leg and arm 30x3
b) hold extended position for 1 second 30 x 3
Planking
1) on forearms
a) neutral, 10 sec
b) rotate on left arm, 10 sec
c) neutral, 10 sec
d) rotate to right arm, 10 sec
3) neutral, 10 sec
repeat two more times with 30 seconds rest in between each rep
2) on hands
a) neutral, 10 sec
b) rotate on left arm, 10 sec
c) neutral, 10 sec
d) rotate to right arm, 10 sec
3) neutral, 10 sec
repeat two more times with 30 seconds rest in between each rep
Did that this morning. Took one hour and thirty minutes. Then I ran this evening, but only 2 miles. I am not feeling really great. I have a cold or something. Some kind of throat thing.
Overall, it's been an extremely busy week. My business is getting a credit the Land of Nod catalog this fall. So I hired a bunch of people to handle that load. Then I was given a $1,000 ad credit on houzz.com. So I hired three more people this week to handle that load. I'm going to add two more. I have one in mind. I've been talking to my husband's cousin's wife about sewing recently. But then I'll need another person.
I used to train each seamstress in person. But my husband and I made training videos on everything we make. It's taken months! So I just send a person materials to make a shade, give them some specs and then they ship it back for notes. When I approve I send them supplies and add them to the list of people my assistant can issue orders too and there we go! That's the easy part, though. I've spent the past two days setting them up, which is the hard and time consuming part. But it's all worth it in the end. For everyone :)
My husband has started running too. We've both been talking lately about how our lifestyle is so different now. We used to want the house, the car, etc. I used to enjoy decorating and keeping a garden. Our lifestyle doesn't really include any of those things any more and even our small house feels burdonsome. We've been talking about making BIG changes. It won't be for a year or two and may in fact just be fun conversation. But we have been talking about BIG lifestyle changes. I'll clue you in as things become more concrete.
15 min jogging warm up
Skipping:
a) simple "school yard" skip at least 60 yards, then run back to the start and back the 60 yrds, then walk back to start
b) high knee skip at least 60 yards, run back to start then back again and walk back to start
c) long skipping. ugh. . . I can't figure this one out. Going to have to consult the coach on this one. . .
d) skip kicks (like the rockets) 60 yards, run out
Knees:
a) Flat foot march, 60 yards walk back to start
b) high knees, on toes, no skip 60 yards, walk back to start
c) Bounding, hopping forward (somehow this is in the knee category. . . )
Misc:
a) Foot shuffles, no knee lift 60 yards, jog and stride back
b) butt kicks, 60 yards, jog and stride back
c) Carrioca, latteral hip swivel, 60 yards one side, 60 yards the other sides run/walk back
d) hip thrust: with back flat on ground, shoulders down, knees up, thrust hip upward. Put fingers in back of shoes to make sure your feet are far enough back
Birddog:
a) shoulders over hands, hips over knees, extend opposite leg and arm 30x3
b) hold extended position for 1 second 30 x 3
Planking
1) on forearms
a) neutral, 10 sec
b) rotate on left arm, 10 sec
c) neutral, 10 sec
d) rotate to right arm, 10 sec
3) neutral, 10 sec
repeat two more times with 30 seconds rest in between each rep
2) on hands
a) neutral, 10 sec
b) rotate on left arm, 10 sec
c) neutral, 10 sec
d) rotate to right arm, 10 sec
3) neutral, 10 sec
repeat two more times with 30 seconds rest in between each rep
Did that this morning. Took one hour and thirty minutes. Then I ran this evening, but only 2 miles. I am not feeling really great. I have a cold or something. Some kind of throat thing.
Overall, it's been an extremely busy week. My business is getting a credit the Land of Nod catalog this fall. So I hired a bunch of people to handle that load. Then I was given a $1,000 ad credit on houzz.com. So I hired three more people this week to handle that load. I'm going to add two more. I have one in mind. I've been talking to my husband's cousin's wife about sewing recently. But then I'll need another person.
I used to train each seamstress in person. But my husband and I made training videos on everything we make. It's taken months! So I just send a person materials to make a shade, give them some specs and then they ship it back for notes. When I approve I send them supplies and add them to the list of people my assistant can issue orders too and there we go! That's the easy part, though. I've spent the past two days setting them up, which is the hard and time consuming part. But it's all worth it in the end. For everyone :)
My husband has started running too. We've both been talking lately about how our lifestyle is so different now. We used to want the house, the car, etc. I used to enjoy decorating and keeping a garden. Our lifestyle doesn't really include any of those things any more and even our small house feels burdonsome. We've been talking about making BIG changes. It won't be for a year or two and may in fact just be fun conversation. But we have been talking about BIG lifestyle changes. I'll clue you in as things become more concrete.
Monday, September 1, 2014
Me Vs The Wind
. . . the wind won :(
Today: Weather started sweltering even at 78 degrees. Just so humid! Then cooled off with some cloud cover. With the cloud cover came the wind (we're expecting some weather activity today). I felt great today. No EDS pains, really, except the usual feet issues (plantar's Fasciitis and flat feet pains). Back still hurts a little from the long run, but nothing I couldn't stretch my way out of. I've successfully been without caffienne for about a week now, so I have been waking up feeling really refreshed! It's nice. but I do miss coke :( and I still have mystery abdominal pain. Now it's kind of dull and relentless, whereas before it was cramp like with occasional relief. I don't have an appendix anymore so not sure what else it could be. It's not GI. Mystery! I need Dr. House!
Today we were going to do a tempo run with Garren setting the pace at 8 miles per hour. We got the bike trailer hooked up to the bike for the kids. Just as we were getting ready to leave Josh got sick. So we set him up on the couch with blankets, towels, a trash can and a movie. Garren helped me get a feel for what an 8 mph pace was by just running up and down the street with me so we would be in shouting distance of Josh if he needed us. And Miriam still wanted to go for a bike ride. So we just went up and down the street a few times. Turns out that pace is pretty wicked. I did okay for less than 1/4 mile. I chalked it up to needing a warm up. So I tried to run first and then have Garren catch up to me and we would start the timer and pace mid run instead of starting and then working up to 8 mph pace. So we tried that for a bit but the best I could do and keep going for any amount of time was 9 mph. Then I was at 7 mph going up hill :( Got lots of work to do. After we did that for a bit Garren took Miriam around the block a few more times in the trailer and I went to the track to do four sets of 4x400s. I was successfull at getting most of those under two minutes. The weather got worse and worse as my time at the track went on. I went from running 1:50 400s to 2:58 when I was running against the wind. Some of that, too, was likely that I was tired because I was on my last set. But I'm pretty sure the last sset did nearly nothing for improvement.
Total work out time 2:50:00. I have to work out AT LEAST three hours a day to reach my goals. This is going to be tough. Pretty much I am replacing my work life with this. But at least I get to do this with my family. After Miriam and Garren stopped riding bikes they came to the track with me. Miriam, Garren and di d 2 x 400s together. Miriam is FAST. Then we did a few 100 m runs with Miriam because she is super good at those. She's hard to keep up with. She turns her head and looks at me like, what are you doing back there? She likes swimming and gymnastics and asks me to turn on olympic swimming youtube videos all the time.
Hopefully Josh will feel up to coming out to the track with us again soon.
Update on nutrition: I've got the hang of the marathon runners diet. But I veer every once in a while when my kids want to make cakes and cookies :) I never pass up an opportunity to bake with my children. It's one of my favorite things to do with them :) But I've got the hang of it now and doing really well. It isn't really a struggle anymore. Increasing the amount of berries and high water content foods has helped enormously to make me feel hydrated without having to go to the bathroom every five miles. Lots of watermelon!
My muscles are getting to be really defined, You can see my muscle now when I am not flexing. I can just hear my Grandma Joyce saying, "That's not very ladylike, but that's none of my business. . . ." :) It's kind of fun to watch the transition and actually see results of hard work.
Tomorrow both kids are in school. I need to look at my training program and see what's on the agenda. but I think it might be a strength day.
Happy Labor Day!
Today: Weather started sweltering even at 78 degrees. Just so humid! Then cooled off with some cloud cover. With the cloud cover came the wind (we're expecting some weather activity today). I felt great today. No EDS pains, really, except the usual feet issues (plantar's Fasciitis and flat feet pains). Back still hurts a little from the long run, but nothing I couldn't stretch my way out of. I've successfully been without caffienne for about a week now, so I have been waking up feeling really refreshed! It's nice. but I do miss coke :( and I still have mystery abdominal pain. Now it's kind of dull and relentless, whereas before it was cramp like with occasional relief. I don't have an appendix anymore so not sure what else it could be. It's not GI. Mystery! I need Dr. House!
Today we were going to do a tempo run with Garren setting the pace at 8 miles per hour. We got the bike trailer hooked up to the bike for the kids. Just as we were getting ready to leave Josh got sick. So we set him up on the couch with blankets, towels, a trash can and a movie. Garren helped me get a feel for what an 8 mph pace was by just running up and down the street with me so we would be in shouting distance of Josh if he needed us. And Miriam still wanted to go for a bike ride. So we just went up and down the street a few times. Turns out that pace is pretty wicked. I did okay for less than 1/4 mile. I chalked it up to needing a warm up. So I tried to run first and then have Garren catch up to me and we would start the timer and pace mid run instead of starting and then working up to 8 mph pace. So we tried that for a bit but the best I could do and keep going for any amount of time was 9 mph. Then I was at 7 mph going up hill :( Got lots of work to do. After we did that for a bit Garren took Miriam around the block a few more times in the trailer and I went to the track to do four sets of 4x400s. I was successfull at getting most of those under two minutes. The weather got worse and worse as my time at the track went on. I went from running 1:50 400s to 2:58 when I was running against the wind. Some of that, too, was likely that I was tired because I was on my last set. But I'm pretty sure the last sset did nearly nothing for improvement.
Total work out time 2:50:00. I have to work out AT LEAST three hours a day to reach my goals. This is going to be tough. Pretty much I am replacing my work life with this. But at least I get to do this with my family. After Miriam and Garren stopped riding bikes they came to the track with me. Miriam, Garren and di d 2 x 400s together. Miriam is FAST. Then we did a few 100 m runs with Miriam because she is super good at those. She's hard to keep up with. She turns her head and looks at me like, what are you doing back there? She likes swimming and gymnastics and asks me to turn on olympic swimming youtube videos all the time.
Hopefully Josh will feel up to coming out to the track with us again soon.
Update on nutrition: I've got the hang of the marathon runners diet. But I veer every once in a while when my kids want to make cakes and cookies :) I never pass up an opportunity to bake with my children. It's one of my favorite things to do with them :) But I've got the hang of it now and doing really well. It isn't really a struggle anymore. Increasing the amount of berries and high water content foods has helped enormously to make me feel hydrated without having to go to the bathroom every five miles. Lots of watermelon!
My muscles are getting to be really defined, You can see my muscle now when I am not flexing. I can just hear my Grandma Joyce saying, "That's not very ladylike, but that's none of my business. . . ." :) It's kind of fun to watch the transition and actually see results of hard work.
Tomorrow both kids are in school. I need to look at my training program and see what's on the agenda. but I think it might be a strength day.
Happy Labor Day!
Saturday, August 30, 2014
Core Workout
Yesterday I ran ten miles. I did to break in new shoes. I don't have time to go slow breaking them in, so I figured a long run was the way to go. i have one blister on the ball of my foot, but I put some DoTerra Melelluca oil on it and didn't feel it at all when I woke up this morning. It's like it wasn't ever there!
I'm also quite pleased, my joints feel great (benefits of forefoot strike) and my calves aren't even hurting today. I had still planned to do my tempo run with Garren setting the pace, but it got to be 90 degrees and the only time we had left to do it was after the kids go to bed, but we can't very well both leave the house and leave the kids. So I decided to do my core work out today and then I'll do my tempo run on Monday morning since G has off.
So here's my core workout as per my marathon training program. I'm glad I'm finally getting over my irrational fear of my core splitting open :) There's a cycle. I'll first tell you what the exercises are called then I'll write the details about the.
Push ups- two
sideways hip dip, right arm- ten
triangle extension, right arm support- hold for ten seconds
plank- 30 seconds
push ups - two
sideways hip dip, left arm- ten
triangle extension, left arm- hold for ten seconds
plank- 30 seconds
push ups- two
Then repeat that two additional times.
Then:
Leg extensions, right leg- 30 seconds
leg extensions, left left- 30 seconds
abdomen tap- ten, five per hand
plank- 30 seconds
repeat till each has been done three times.
Then:
Vertical hip dip- ten on each sides three times.
Last:
Shoe lift- side to side ten times, front to hip ten times, arm extended upwards then down to should ten times
Repeat two more times.
And you pretty much are done with life after that. ;)
Push-ups- everyone knows what a push up is. I had my sister who recently went through basic training teach me a real push up. She had me put a tissue box under my stomach and told me to go down that far then back up. Yah. . . I crushed the tissue box. . . I'm improving.
Sideways hip dip- Support yourself on your right or left arm with your arm extended. Then extend your legs so your feet are kind of stacked on top of each other and your body is kind of triangle shaped. You let your hip fall and pick it back up to where your body is straight again only using your abdominal muscles. Yep, pretty sure this one will give me a hernia. Then you can switch and do it with your left arm supporting.
Plank- Support yourself on your toes and forearms. I have to clasp my hands together still. Not sure yet if that's counter productive or incorrect form, but I have to do it. For some reason it keeps me from wanting to scream, which usually comes around 23 seconds. :)
Triangle extension- When you are in your hip dip pose you just extend your other arm up and hold that position for 20 seconds or so. You need to keep your body aligned and straight and not allow your hips to dip.
Leg Extensions- Lie on your back and bring your knees up. Keep your shoulders down to the floor (this is important to keeping form). lift your hips as high as you can then extend right or left leg. hold that position for 30 seconds. Do not let your hips dip down. You must stay in a straight line from your shoulders to your toe. Then do it again with the other leg.
Abdomen tap- In push up position, tap your belly button alternating hands. Form is important on this one. You mus stay straight and not tilt to the supporting arm. You must stay in the same position as when both hands are placed on the grounds and supporting.
Vertical hip dip- lift one foot off the ground and allow that hip to fall below center. Then lift it back to be square with the other hip using only your abdominal muscles.
Shoe lift- Hold your shoes, one in each hand. Lift starting from hips going up no high than your shoulders, like a butterfly. Then for the front, extend your arms out to the front and lower your hands down to the hips. Then extend your arms as high as you can and lower them to your shoulders in just an up down motion. Do each of those ten times with three reps. The purpose of this is actually that when your muscles are flexed to hold the shoe it strengthens the muscles all the way down through to the top of your abdomen. It strengthens similar muscles to the ones you use in push ups. You don't need weight or heavy shoes as the point is not to build muscle but just to strengthen those muscles. Try doing those motions without the shoes in your hands and then again with the shoes in hand and you will feel that there is no muscles being worked simply by doing the motion. Your hands must be flexed.
Other change I made today, increasing berries and other water filled fruits like watermelon in the diet. It's a great way to stay hydrated. Your muscles actually absorb more of the liquid in berries and other fruits whereas water tends to go straight through you. So you can stay hydrated without having to go to the bathroom all the time :)
Happy Saturday!
I'm also quite pleased, my joints feel great (benefits of forefoot strike) and my calves aren't even hurting today. I had still planned to do my tempo run with Garren setting the pace, but it got to be 90 degrees and the only time we had left to do it was after the kids go to bed, but we can't very well both leave the house and leave the kids. So I decided to do my core work out today and then I'll do my tempo run on Monday morning since G has off.
So here's my core workout as per my marathon training program. I'm glad I'm finally getting over my irrational fear of my core splitting open :) There's a cycle. I'll first tell you what the exercises are called then I'll write the details about the.
Push ups- two
sideways hip dip, right arm- ten
triangle extension, right arm support- hold for ten seconds
plank- 30 seconds
push ups - two
sideways hip dip, left arm- ten
triangle extension, left arm- hold for ten seconds
plank- 30 seconds
push ups- two
Then repeat that two additional times.
Then:
Leg extensions, right leg- 30 seconds
leg extensions, left left- 30 seconds
abdomen tap- ten, five per hand
plank- 30 seconds
repeat till each has been done three times.
Then:
Vertical hip dip- ten on each sides three times.
Last:
Shoe lift- side to side ten times, front to hip ten times, arm extended upwards then down to should ten times
Repeat two more times.
And you pretty much are done with life after that. ;)
Push-ups- everyone knows what a push up is. I had my sister who recently went through basic training teach me a real push up. She had me put a tissue box under my stomach and told me to go down that far then back up. Yah. . . I crushed the tissue box. . . I'm improving.
Sideways hip dip- Support yourself on your right or left arm with your arm extended. Then extend your legs so your feet are kind of stacked on top of each other and your body is kind of triangle shaped. You let your hip fall and pick it back up to where your body is straight again only using your abdominal muscles. Yep, pretty sure this one will give me a hernia. Then you can switch and do it with your left arm supporting.
Plank- Support yourself on your toes and forearms. I have to clasp my hands together still. Not sure yet if that's counter productive or incorrect form, but I have to do it. For some reason it keeps me from wanting to scream, which usually comes around 23 seconds. :)
Triangle extension- When you are in your hip dip pose you just extend your other arm up and hold that position for 20 seconds or so. You need to keep your body aligned and straight and not allow your hips to dip.
Leg Extensions- Lie on your back and bring your knees up. Keep your shoulders down to the floor (this is important to keeping form). lift your hips as high as you can then extend right or left leg. hold that position for 30 seconds. Do not let your hips dip down. You must stay in a straight line from your shoulders to your toe. Then do it again with the other leg.
Abdomen tap- In push up position, tap your belly button alternating hands. Form is important on this one. You mus stay straight and not tilt to the supporting arm. You must stay in the same position as when both hands are placed on the grounds and supporting.
Vertical hip dip- lift one foot off the ground and allow that hip to fall below center. Then lift it back to be square with the other hip using only your abdominal muscles.
Shoe lift- Hold your shoes, one in each hand. Lift starting from hips going up no high than your shoulders, like a butterfly. Then for the front, extend your arms out to the front and lower your hands down to the hips. Then extend your arms as high as you can and lower them to your shoulders in just an up down motion. Do each of those ten times with three reps. The purpose of this is actually that when your muscles are flexed to hold the shoe it strengthens the muscles all the way down through to the top of your abdomen. It strengthens similar muscles to the ones you use in push ups. You don't need weight or heavy shoes as the point is not to build muscle but just to strengthen those muscles. Try doing those motions without the shoes in your hands and then again with the shoes in hand and you will feel that there is no muscles being worked simply by doing the motion. Your hands must be flexed.
Other change I made today, increasing berries and other water filled fruits like watermelon in the diet. It's a great way to stay hydrated. Your muscles actually absorb more of the liquid in berries and other fruits whereas water tends to go straight through you. So you can stay hydrated without having to go to the bathroom all the time :)
Happy Saturday!
Friday, August 29, 2014
"Run a Ragnar Relay," they said. "It will be fun," they said.
Flash Back Friday: Ragnar 2014, West Virginia Appalachians! It rained and poured constantly. But it was amazing.
Campsite. Something wicked this way comes, I believe was the original caption of this photo.
Sleep? The question mark was appropriately placed.
Me and high school friend, Adam. I hold him responsible for making me into a Ragnar Junkie.
After a downpour. you can see the mud churned up.
You can see the trail churned up here, too. This is the beginning of the trail right out of the transition tent.
Our campsite during a downpour.
Campsite after the downpour. It stayed like this the rest of the time we were there.
Team mates! Best team ever! We had such a great time! We had to hold down our canopy after we watch several tumble down the road beside us in the storm. We also had to relieve the canopy of the water it was holding by pushing up on it from underneath. Adam, TWICE, did this while I happen to be walking underneath the border of the canopy to get underneath it. I was wet the ENTIRE time. So was everyone else, though. Good times.
And all for the medal! It's a great medal!
Back to the present :) Bought new shoes today. You can see an image of them on my instagram! Yep, I got an instagram. I've never cared to have one before because. . . I guess just because I don't live my life on the Internet. But it makes uploading things to the twitter (@MelRunTheWorld) a lot easier. It is a lot easier to keep followers up to date on the latest training, products, etc. My instagram is also MelRunTheWorld.
Anywho, I got Under Armour Speedform. They are amazing! I wanted something designed for forefoot strike and this was pretty much the only one available. 90% of shoes are made for heal striking. I'm telling you, forefoot striking is the best way to go. Since I have switched I haven't run a single mile below 10:30. (I still have to stop and walk sometimes on my long runs. . . so that messes up my time a little bit. But when I am actually running I've been averaging 9 minute miles. It's the way to go.
So I got these shoes today. And to break them in I did a ten mile run tonight. It took me two hours, but at least the shoes are ready to train in. My ONLY complaint about them is that there is NO arch support. But the thing I LOVE LOVE LOVE about them is that they make leaning forward feel natural instead of forced. I love them. But the arch support is going to be an issue since I have flat feet. So I need to figure out what to do about that pronto!
Today's run was great. It felt natural and it felt effortless. I didn't feel totally worn out at ten miles, but I feared blisters since the shoes were new. So I called ten miles good enough for one day. Plus my husband wanted to go to a football game tonight, so I couldn't stay out all night. he eve came home early so I could do my run! Marathon training is truly a family affair.
The run. . . After 1.5 miles I felt a pull in the arch of my foot. I pulled off to the very inner lane of the track to slow down. I starting crying because I felt defeated. But then I had the thought that since I was doing my long run tonight I didn't technically have to run again till Monday. I had planned to do a tempo run with my husband as my pace setter tomorrow, but I don't absolutely have to. So I decided to keep knowing knowing I could take the weekend to recover. I took a moment and stretched it out. I cried out of frustration and pain again. But then I got to running and didn't even feel it anymore. I didn't feel it again until mile 8. And even then it wasn't severe pain. It was just a dull little pull feeling. Kind of cramp like. Nothing I couldn't run through. So I finished and then went home to eat bananas and read bedtime stories to my kids. I got a little emotional when I got home too because I had really decided to just call it a day after I felt that pain. And then I ran another 8.5 miles after I had decided that! I felt like I conquered! Mind over matter! I did it! And I feel great.
Now it's time for some lounging, drinking kool aid and catching up on True Blood :) I should clean up my house from the fun fay I had with my daughter (who hasn't started school yet). But lying on the couch is going to win this time around.
Wednesday, August 27, 2014
A lot has changed in the last 24 hrs
First things first, today's run:
Short run because I have lots of work to do tonight. I originally didn't have lots of work to do, but a few things have popped up so now I have a lot to do.
Ran 5k, lovely weather, just perfect. Wished I could have stayed out longer. My calves are killing me from yesterday's run, but once I get moving I don't even feel it.
My mystery abdominal pain is lessening. So I may not go to my doctor.
No EDS pain today except in my fingers, but there isn't a whole lot I can do about that.
Okie dokie. So did my research on the NYC marathon. If I want to use that as my olympic trial marathon I have to run a marathon before Dec 31, 2014. And even then, it isn't guaranteed I'll get in. They've already excepted all they're competitors and are now onto charity runners and "regular people." The latter two gets selected by lottery. But I just think if it's meant to be then I'll get chosen. If I don't then this wasn't my year. But anywho, I found a few races later in the year. I have decided to run the Richmond, VA marathon for my qual race on Nov 15th. I'm a tad nervous because my current program is structured for the race to happen the first week of January. So I am not sure if it's going to work out. But I am at least going to give it a try.
So tonight I have to make three more training videos because I'm about to hand off all my work to someone else. (I hired three people last week. I might hire two more, but I can't think about that right now :)). I am up back up to eleven subcontractors and I think managing them is going to be quite enough without any of the construction end of the business in my hands.
There was another race later in November, but it didn't work out with my social life ;) My birthday has become a very sad occasion for me ever since my 2011 birthday. Something happened that day that has just tainted my birthday for me. It is no longer a happy day, but a day of grief and great personal sadness. I have forgiven those who hurt me on that day, but they still have not accepted responsibility or even acknowledged how much they hurt me. Even though my birthday (Nov 16th) is still two and a half months away, even thinking about it coming up gives me so much anxiety. I hate it now. I don't even want it to come. My sister knows how much this hurts me. So I am flying out to her in San Diego and she is taking me to the Bastille concert to celebrate my birthday! I wouldn't have it any other way! I have a hard time spending my birthday with my husband because it was his family that hurt me. And he knows what they did and knows how much it hurt and is fine with me celebrating my birthday with my sister.
So anyway, I will be leaving for that early morning Wednesday, the concert is Wednesday night, then my sister takes me back to the airport after the concert. it's going to be the best 16 hours ever! haha! But that's two days out of training. So the end of November races are out for me. The Richmond one is perfect because it's the day before my birthday. So I'll have plenty of distraction from my sadness. And we used to live near Richmond. So I am hoping that on my birthday (Sun the 16th) that we'll be able to take our kids to where we lived for Joshua's first year. I think that would be a fun way to spend the day. Plenty of distraction. Hopefully see old friends. Maybe we'll even go to church in the Bennetts Creek Ward!
I do think running on the 15th of Nov will work out even though it doesn't necessarily work with my current training plan. I think I have a lot of anxiety and a lot of grief I'm still dealing with as my birthday approaches that I will be able to work out in these intense training sessions. Put those feelings to good use!
On Saturday I will be running a tempo race. My husband is going to ride his bike (with kids in the trailer) at a speed of 8 miles per hour and I am going to run behind him. Hoping to do that for a 10k. I won't stop until I've done 5k, but I'm hoping to hold out through 10k.
I am looking into getting a personal trainer to help me with my form and strengthening my core muscles. I'm a wimp when it comes to my core. After two c sections and an appendectomy I have an intense fear of splitting open and having all my inside fall out of me. I've gotten better and have been doing tons of core workout lately. But I'm pretty sure it isn't enough for what I am about to put my body through. Have to step it up. At that point, I'll be making more detailed records of exactly what I'm doing. Follow my twitter @MelRunTheWorld. And I'll be getting an instagram soon since I just figured out what that is. haha! And I guess it goes together if you want to have a twitter and post images or something. I don't know. I'm so dumb at the Internet.
Peace out, y'all! Thanks for reading! I hope to inspire people as I progress. As of Tuesday of next week, both my kids will be in school during the day and I will be ramping up the training schedule! Look for it if you want to join me and follow along.
Short run because I have lots of work to do tonight. I originally didn't have lots of work to do, but a few things have popped up so now I have a lot to do.
Ran 5k, lovely weather, just perfect. Wished I could have stayed out longer. My calves are killing me from yesterday's run, but once I get moving I don't even feel it.
My mystery abdominal pain is lessening. So I may not go to my doctor.
No EDS pain today except in my fingers, but there isn't a whole lot I can do about that.
Okie dokie. So did my research on the NYC marathon. If I want to use that as my olympic trial marathon I have to run a marathon before Dec 31, 2014. And even then, it isn't guaranteed I'll get in. They've already excepted all they're competitors and are now onto charity runners and "regular people." The latter two gets selected by lottery. But I just think if it's meant to be then I'll get chosen. If I don't then this wasn't my year. But anywho, I found a few races later in the year. I have decided to run the Richmond, VA marathon for my qual race on Nov 15th. I'm a tad nervous because my current program is structured for the race to happen the first week of January. So I am not sure if it's going to work out. But I am at least going to give it a try.
So tonight I have to make three more training videos because I'm about to hand off all my work to someone else. (I hired three people last week. I might hire two more, but I can't think about that right now :)). I am up back up to eleven subcontractors and I think managing them is going to be quite enough without any of the construction end of the business in my hands.
There was another race later in November, but it didn't work out with my social life ;) My birthday has become a very sad occasion for me ever since my 2011 birthday. Something happened that day that has just tainted my birthday for me. It is no longer a happy day, but a day of grief and great personal sadness. I have forgiven those who hurt me on that day, but they still have not accepted responsibility or even acknowledged how much they hurt me. Even though my birthday (Nov 16th) is still two and a half months away, even thinking about it coming up gives me so much anxiety. I hate it now. I don't even want it to come. My sister knows how much this hurts me. So I am flying out to her in San Diego and she is taking me to the Bastille concert to celebrate my birthday! I wouldn't have it any other way! I have a hard time spending my birthday with my husband because it was his family that hurt me. And he knows what they did and knows how much it hurt and is fine with me celebrating my birthday with my sister.
So anyway, I will be leaving for that early morning Wednesday, the concert is Wednesday night, then my sister takes me back to the airport after the concert. it's going to be the best 16 hours ever! haha! But that's two days out of training. So the end of November races are out for me. The Richmond one is perfect because it's the day before my birthday. So I'll have plenty of distraction from my sadness. And we used to live near Richmond. So I am hoping that on my birthday (Sun the 16th) that we'll be able to take our kids to where we lived for Joshua's first year. I think that would be a fun way to spend the day. Plenty of distraction. Hopefully see old friends. Maybe we'll even go to church in the Bennetts Creek Ward!
I do think running on the 15th of Nov will work out even though it doesn't necessarily work with my current training plan. I think I have a lot of anxiety and a lot of grief I'm still dealing with as my birthday approaches that I will be able to work out in these intense training sessions. Put those feelings to good use!
On Saturday I will be running a tempo race. My husband is going to ride his bike (with kids in the trailer) at a speed of 8 miles per hour and I am going to run behind him. Hoping to do that for a 10k. I won't stop until I've done 5k, but I'm hoping to hold out through 10k.
I am looking into getting a personal trainer to help me with my form and strengthening my core muscles. I'm a wimp when it comes to my core. After two c sections and an appendectomy I have an intense fear of splitting open and having all my inside fall out of me. I've gotten better and have been doing tons of core workout lately. But I'm pretty sure it isn't enough for what I am about to put my body through. Have to step it up. At that point, I'll be making more detailed records of exactly what I'm doing. Follow my twitter @MelRunTheWorld. And I'll be getting an instagram soon since I just figured out what that is. haha! And I guess it goes together if you want to have a twitter and post images or something. I don't know. I'm so dumb at the Internet.
Peace out, y'all! Thanks for reading! I hope to inspire people as I progress. As of Tuesday of next week, both my kids will be in school during the day and I will be ramping up the training schedule! Look for it if you want to join me and follow along.
Tuesday, August 26, 2014
Pain :(
I'm back at it! I ran a 10K tonight in 1:12. I wasn't really going for my quickest time, but I did get some good practice in running while having to go to the bathroom REALLY BAD. It was pretty extreme!
I've been dealing with continuous abdominal pain since Thursday of last week. I have to go to my doctor, but I don't want to because everyone says, "It's because you have EDS" and no one every has any answers anyway. Frustration! But whatever.
As of this week I am no longer working during the day at all. Not even work emails. I do some work in the evenings. It's 9:30 and I'm about to put in an hour or so. But my work load isn't demanding anymore. It was a bad week at work, though. Lots of complaints for the seamstresses. I think everyone was maybe getting complacent. I think everyone is just getting too comfortable. So I have to put out some fires there, but over all I think I'm in a good state of mind to start focusing and really buckle down on my training.Next week both my kids will be in school. It will be a great time to start the hard stuff! Drills, drills, drills! Looking forward to seeing what my body actually can do!
Oh and I ran .75 miles at a 5:30 min per mile pace. Getting faster!!!
I've been dealing with continuous abdominal pain since Thursday of last week. I have to go to my doctor, but I don't want to because everyone says, "It's because you have EDS" and no one every has any answers anyway. Frustration! But whatever.
As of this week I am no longer working during the day at all. Not even work emails. I do some work in the evenings. It's 9:30 and I'm about to put in an hour or so. But my work load isn't demanding anymore. It was a bad week at work, though. Lots of complaints for the seamstresses. I think everyone was maybe getting complacent. I think everyone is just getting too comfortable. So I have to put out some fires there, but over all I think I'm in a good state of mind to start focusing and really buckle down on my training.Next week both my kids will be in school. It will be a great time to start the hard stuff! Drills, drills, drills! Looking forward to seeing what my body actually can do!
Oh and I ran .75 miles at a 5:30 min per mile pace. Getting faster!!!
Saturday, August 23, 2014
Long Runs= Funny Tan Lines
I've nearly killed my calves this week working on my speed. So I decided to take both today and tomorrow off. I tried to take my kids to the Salem Red Sox game, but we got rained out. So I took them home and decided to do a run for today anyway. In the rain. It was good! I was feeling so comfortable. just running at a steady pace. Last night I did a quick short run, three miles. first was under 8 minutes the second and third were just over 8 minutes. So I've really been picking up my speed! But then today I tried to run at a comfortable speed and got to a steep hill. . . my calves gave up the ghost. Muscle failure! They just completely went on strike! Well, only my left one. Hobbling home, I had lots of time to think about how rest is a good thing. Breaking out the doTerra tonight!
Long runs do make for funny tan lines.
Long runs do make for funny tan lines.
Running with the sun on my left, I guess. . .
Sorry for the gross pic. Post rain and fast run. :) This tan looks funny because sports bras go inward toward your neck and down the back. But regular shirts, or for example the dress I'll be wearing to church tomorrow are more open to the shoulders. So this tan is going to look awesome! haha
Well, I may take a few days off. Now that I know I have the speed thing figured out since I have perfected forefoot strike, I am feeling comfortable taking off till probably Tuesday. May do some drills on Monday night. Then I am going to focus on distance.
Peace out y'all! I got this! Now that I am super comfortable at 8 minute miles, I might make NYC marathon my goal instead of Boston :) Have to see how I do on distance next week.
M.
Wednesday, August 20, 2014
Best mile yet!
I took Sunday and Monday off to get over my feminine problems. Then I tried to run yesterday and it turns out I wasn't quite over it. I googled what runners do and it said they just take birth control so they don't have periods! I'm not going to spend money on something I don't need (tubal ligation means I don't need that)! So I don't know what I'm going to do. I am going to ask my doctor for suggestions. I'm also going to see what he can do to treat the endo. It's getting worse and worse.
So I went out tonight. I was supposed to do a difficult run tonight, 4x800 at marathon pace with 3 minut recoveries inbetween. but since I haven't run since Saturday I just wanted to do an easy maintenance run. So I started and I was feeling good and comfortable and my watch said I'd run a mile. So I looked to see how long it took. . . 7:31! POW! And when I hit that point the song on my iwatch (i don't know what it's called so I call it my iwatch) was the same song that was playing when I pulled out of my marathon. I was like, take that as me flippin' you the bird, stupid injury! Normally at that speed I'm spent after a mile. But I felt really good and ran the rest of the 5k, no recovery laps or anything, averaging 8:20.
I have more to write, but I also have to make seven roman shades tonight so that I can go camping with my family this weekend. :) So off to work I go.
7:31 is Boston worthy. I think this is getting to be a realistic goal!
So I went out tonight. I was supposed to do a difficult run tonight, 4x800 at marathon pace with 3 minut recoveries inbetween. but since I haven't run since Saturday I just wanted to do an easy maintenance run. So I started and I was feeling good and comfortable and my watch said I'd run a mile. So I looked to see how long it took. . . 7:31! POW! And when I hit that point the song on my iwatch (i don't know what it's called so I call it my iwatch) was the same song that was playing when I pulled out of my marathon. I was like, take that as me flippin' you the bird, stupid injury! Normally at that speed I'm spent after a mile. But I felt really good and ran the rest of the 5k, no recovery laps or anything, averaging 8:20.
I have more to write, but I also have to make seven roman shades tonight so that I can go camping with my family this weekend. :) So off to work I go.
7:31 is Boston worthy. I think this is getting to be a realistic goal!
Saturday, August 16, 2014
Not happening.
Reporting to you again from the comforts of the living room fort as I watch Sherman and Mr. Peabody with my kids and husband. :)
So today was supposed to be a long run. I never go far from home in case of emergency and because I haven't yet mastered running long distances without having to go to the bathroom all the time. My goal was to do 15 miles. Actual: 6.5 miles. :( sad day. . . . . My kids had a birthday party today, two of them, actually. . . The parties started at 1 pm. I did manage to get up at 10 am and work until noon, but at noon all I could manage was enough strength to brush my daughter's hair for the party. Then I laid down in bed because of horrendous cramps. But I had told myself I'd be running at 1 and 1 was coming up. So I pulled myself out of bed and took way took long to get dressed. I dragged my bruised and bleeding self to the track and started running. It wasn't bad! I immediately stopped feeling the cramps. It only took about a quarter mile and I wasn't feeling it anymore. I knew this would happen, I don't just pile pain upon pain upon pain. So everything was going great until three miles when had to go home for "fem-hys," as my dad calls them (feminine hygiene). Then I set back out. It was great. I finally hit my stride at mile four. I felt amazing and was actually running 6:53 per mile at one point for a little bit of distance. It was amazing. But then it all happened again. Super soakers in abundance and nothing can help this heavy bleeder. Sad day. So at mile six I thought I was going to have to go back home. But I knew one more trip back home and I'd call it quits for the day. I tried to stay out telling myself that I had read about marathon runners who mess their pants and still finish the race! Surely I could do 3.75 more miles. But I couldn't. I called it quite at 6.5 and then spent an hour cleaning the crime scene out of my pants. And now I'm going to google how other girls train while on their periods. There must be a way! Athletes train every single day. How do they do it? Or maybe I'm just one lucky girl who bleeds heavily CONSTANTLY for seven days.
But anywho. . . I did some of my run on the trail this morning. I like to do that every once in a while. One thing I like about running is that it strengthens my testimony of God and how He created this earth. On the trails I see so many beautiful things and think to myself, "How can anyone believe this happened by accident or was just a coincidence?"
Back to it on Monday. Sunday's are my day off from training. I have a bunch of new drills to do that I'll write about on Monday. Back to a rousing session of lying on the couch.
M.
So today was supposed to be a long run. I never go far from home in case of emergency and because I haven't yet mastered running long distances without having to go to the bathroom all the time. My goal was to do 15 miles. Actual: 6.5 miles. :( sad day. . . . . My kids had a birthday party today, two of them, actually. . . The parties started at 1 pm. I did manage to get up at 10 am and work until noon, but at noon all I could manage was enough strength to brush my daughter's hair for the party. Then I laid down in bed because of horrendous cramps. But I had told myself I'd be running at 1 and 1 was coming up. So I pulled myself out of bed and took way took long to get dressed. I dragged my bruised and bleeding self to the track and started running. It wasn't bad! I immediately stopped feeling the cramps. It only took about a quarter mile and I wasn't feeling it anymore. I knew this would happen, I don't just pile pain upon pain upon pain. So everything was going great until three miles when had to go home for "fem-hys," as my dad calls them (feminine hygiene). Then I set back out. It was great. I finally hit my stride at mile four. I felt amazing and was actually running 6:53 per mile at one point for a little bit of distance. It was amazing. But then it all happened again. Super soakers in abundance and nothing can help this heavy bleeder. Sad day. So at mile six I thought I was going to have to go back home. But I knew one more trip back home and I'd call it quits for the day. I tried to stay out telling myself that I had read about marathon runners who mess their pants and still finish the race! Surely I could do 3.75 more miles. But I couldn't. I called it quite at 6.5 and then spent an hour cleaning the crime scene out of my pants. And now I'm going to google how other girls train while on their periods. There must be a way! Athletes train every single day. How do they do it? Or maybe I'm just one lucky girl who bleeds heavily CONSTANTLY for seven days.
But anywho. . . I did some of my run on the trail this morning. I like to do that every once in a while. One thing I like about running is that it strengthens my testimony of God and how He created this earth. On the trails I see so many beautiful things and think to myself, "How can anyone believe this happened by accident or was just a coincidence?"
Back to it on Monday. Sunday's are my day off from training. I have a bunch of new drills to do that I'll write about on Monday. Back to a rousing session of lying on the couch.
M.
Friday, August 15, 2014
Flash Back Friday!
Flash Back Friday! Race day memories.
For whatever reason, today I was thinking about race day for the Dublin half. My mom and I were stretching and getting ready to leave the apartment. My dad said, "Shall I run out and get you guys some raw meat to eat for breakfast?"
One of my favorite memories. Dad is always so supportive of my mom and I running :)
So, today was kind of a bummer day. My uterus just wasn't going to have any of it. Ran a mile 11:10 and started bleeding profusely! It was terrible. I did quite a few drills in (jumps, lunges, etc) but not very much running. I took my kids to the park and did my drills while they played. Then they played in the long jump sand box when we went over to the track for me to run my whole ONE MILE! woo hoo! Hopefully tomorrow I'll be able to do my long run (15 miles). I am going to go to my doctor. my endometriosis is getting to be pretty wicked. After each of my kids was born they scraped all of the tissue out with a shovel type thing since they were in there anyway. but now that it's been four years, I think it's all built back up again. it's pretty freaking awful Spent all day in bed and on the couch, then took three motrin. When that kicked in we went outside to play at the park and the track. Now I want to go back to bed again. . . Garren is out doing his run, so it's the perfect time to go to bed!! ;) Garren is really taking it seriously. I'm glad. I signed up for that half and thought he'd have the same attitude about it as he does everything else: "This year I'm going to floss my teeth more!" "I'm going to come home from work earlier." "I'm going to ride my bike to work." Yah. . . . but he said, "I'm going to start running to get ready for this half. And HE IS! I'm very happy for him. I think he will like the results and I hope it helps with his stress.
Anyway, I'm going to go cry myself to sleep. My kids half two birthday parties back to back tomorrow and I think that's when I'll do my long run. Crossing my fingers my uterus cooperates. I've got to figure out how to train while dealing with feminine issues. Ugh!
For whatever reason, today I was thinking about race day for the Dublin half. My mom and I were stretching and getting ready to leave the apartment. My dad said, "Shall I run out and get you guys some raw meat to eat for breakfast?"
One of my favorite memories. Dad is always so supportive of my mom and I running :)
So, today was kind of a bummer day. My uterus just wasn't going to have any of it. Ran a mile 11:10 and started bleeding profusely! It was terrible. I did quite a few drills in (jumps, lunges, etc) but not very much running. I took my kids to the park and did my drills while they played. Then they played in the long jump sand box when we went over to the track for me to run my whole ONE MILE! woo hoo! Hopefully tomorrow I'll be able to do my long run (15 miles). I am going to go to my doctor. my endometriosis is getting to be pretty wicked. After each of my kids was born they scraped all of the tissue out with a shovel type thing since they were in there anyway. but now that it's been four years, I think it's all built back up again. it's pretty freaking awful Spent all day in bed and on the couch, then took three motrin. When that kicked in we went outside to play at the park and the track. Now I want to go back to bed again. . . Garren is out doing his run, so it's the perfect time to go to bed!! ;) Garren is really taking it seriously. I'm glad. I signed up for that half and thought he'd have the same attitude about it as he does everything else: "This year I'm going to floss my teeth more!" "I'm going to come home from work earlier." "I'm going to ride my bike to work." Yah. . . . but he said, "I'm going to start running to get ready for this half. And HE IS! I'm very happy for him. I think he will like the results and I hope it helps with his stress.
Anyway, I'm going to go cry myself to sleep. My kids half two birthday parties back to back tomorrow and I think that's when I'll do my long run. Crossing my fingers my uterus cooperates. I've got to figure out how to train while dealing with feminine issues. Ugh!
Thursday, August 14, 2014
Stuff
Just updates today. Ran 6.2 exactly last night. The footstep into my back yard toward my back door made it exactly 6.2. I'm taking today off because my monthly friend has come to visit and I am quite a profuse bleeder, unfortunately. I need to figure out what to do, though, because in two weeks I step up my training even more to only one rest day a week (Sunday) and I can't count on my visitor coming on Sunday :) No biggy, though. Today was a just maintenance distance run (5 miles). Tomorrow is a tempo run, which will be my first at marathon pace. I'm a little nervous but trying not to psyche myself out. But for now, it's time to relax and have a movie night with my babies as I write to you from the blanket fort in the living room.
I signed up my husband and I for the Disneyland half marathon. I sent him out to run two nights ago. He came back after 5 miles and said, "Sooooooturns out I'm not ready for a half. Or even a 10k. . . ." He then took a shower and passed out on the bed! :) I'll be signing up my kids and both garren and I for the 5k this Friday.The picture below was form our last Disneyland race. My sister made everyone race shirts. We got the Mickey silhouettes with our names in Disney font from Miss Morgan Designs, a fellow etsy seller. I do have to add that I have lost a ton of weight since this picture was taken. :) Look for more pictures from our Disneyland race next time.
As for my struggles this week, I have new updates on those. I've been getting better about the runners diet. In the evenings I look through the Runners World Cookbook and just get some ideas in my head for the next day. Then, when it is meal time, I am not just grabbing what's readily available. I've made spinach and egg fritata, peanut butter oatmeal, and several other enjoyable meals. I'm getting the hang of it.
I signed up my husband and I for the Disneyland half marathon. I sent him out to run two nights ago. He came back after 5 miles and said, "Sooooooturns out I'm not ready for a half. Or even a 10k. . . ." He then took a shower and passed out on the bed! :) I'll be signing up my kids and both garren and I for the 5k this Friday.The picture below was form our last Disneyland race. My sister made everyone race shirts. We got the Mickey silhouettes with our names in Disney font from Miss Morgan Designs, a fellow etsy seller. I do have to add that I have lost a ton of weight since this picture was taken. :) Look for more pictures from our Disneyland race next time.
As for my struggles this week, I have new updates on those. I've been getting better about the runners diet. In the evenings I look through the Runners World Cookbook and just get some ideas in my head for the next day. Then, when it is meal time, I am not just grabbing what's readily available. I've made spinach and egg fritata, peanut butter oatmeal, and several other enjoyable meals. I'm getting the hang of it.
I'm hoping to bring my kids with me tomorrow to the track. When I run at the gym I always try to have them run at least a half mile of it with me. At the track by our house there is a sand pit for the long jump. They like to play there while I do my drills. Tomorrow will be a tempo run and I hope they'll run a bit with me.
Tuesday, August 12, 2014
A surprise!
Today's weather: awful and rainy. Joints reminded me of this all day. Thank you joints for keeping me informed. But I ran anyway. I was surprised. I will preface this by saying that i have slept a total of 8 hours in the past two nights and am starting to really feel it today. I went into this run very tired. I did a couple of practice laps to practice my forefoot strike. Man, it is so hard for me to get that just right since I've been running without doing it all this time. After a few practice laps I started running. My joints were achy, I was sweating profusely for some reason after only a short distance and I felt like I was gong slower than molasses.
One thing I REALLY need to get over is that I tend to not even finish a run at the point I realize I'm not going to meet my goal. I realized today I wasn't going to meet my 10K goal at the 6thK. I was already at 41 minutes. I told myself I needed to finish anyway. When I got to 8 k I was at 52 minutes. Then I realized I did my math wrong at 6k and I totally could have finished in an hour! But I let myself get down about not reaching my goal and I slowed my speed because of that. I really need to get over that. And pronto! That, or get better at math :) I was so surprised at the end of my ran that i was actually running at my goal speed even though it felt like I was trudging through molasses. I think (I HOPE) this means I got my forefoot strike down. I think my legs have been sore as I have been trying to use the different method of running and I was just feeling tired. But the proper running style helped me maintain my speed! What a great day! Then I picked up my kids at child watch and ran a half mile with them on the track. They are freaking fast. I couldn't keep up (really. I wasn't just being nice and letting them win).
In other news: I registered my husband and I for the Tinker Bell Half Marathon in May at Disneyland! It will be his first big race! "Find your inner pixie" they tell him in the confirmation email. hahaha. I'm sure he's going to love that! Later this week I will be registering my family for the family 5k run so that my kids can do a race as well. :) We did that one as a family in January and it was the neatest experience.
Short term goals modified:
1) 10k in an hour
2) teach my kids good running posture and correct style.
As for nutrition, nailed it today! I hope to be able to keep it up!
Tomorrow is conditioning day. Woo hoo. . . Haven't heard back yet from the Roanoke Elite Athletes Club yet. Maybe later this week. We'll be running as a family now in the evenings and on Saturday's so my husband can get ready for his race too!
Super Sad about Robin Williams today, too. Super Duper sad. I felt like I understood him. I have been so depressed that death sounded as nice and peaceful as a vacation sounds to some people. A drink, maybe. A good book. a long hike. Or whatever makes you think of pure R and R. I would put my head on my pillow and think that death sounded nice and peaceful. That was just in recent years, but I no longer associate with the people who made me not able to live in my own mind. And I am okay now. I actually started running around the time this was happening and found that it helped me cope with the grief these two individuals had put me through. But when I heard he had committed suicide all I could think about was the time when there was so much going on in my mind that I could't live with in there. I couldn't exist as a human being with what was in there, and for a while I wasn't! I was a robot! I hope he has found peace from whatever was plaguing his mind. I was able to find my peace, but it took 2 and a half years. Two and a half years of utter sadness, disappointment, damage, you name it. But I finally found my peace. I kept waiting for these individuals to accept responsibility and thought that was the only way I would find my peace. but I found it through my Savior, Jesus Christ, and through making healthy changes to my life like running. I do feel sad for the families of people who don't understand what it's like to live in a mind plagued by obsessive thoughts that are out of control. But I myself can understand the ones who hurt themselves. I'm not saying it's okay or that it's right. I'm just saying that I know. And I hope he has peace now. I didn't think I'd ever live another day with peace in my mind and in my heart. And I do now every day. But it took a long time and I did a lot of damage along the way.
One thing I REALLY need to get over is that I tend to not even finish a run at the point I realize I'm not going to meet my goal. I realized today I wasn't going to meet my 10K goal at the 6thK. I was already at 41 minutes. I told myself I needed to finish anyway. When I got to 8 k I was at 52 minutes. Then I realized I did my math wrong at 6k and I totally could have finished in an hour! But I let myself get down about not reaching my goal and I slowed my speed because of that. I really need to get over that. And pronto! That, or get better at math :) I was so surprised at the end of my ran that i was actually running at my goal speed even though it felt like I was trudging through molasses. I think (I HOPE) this means I got my forefoot strike down. I think my legs have been sore as I have been trying to use the different method of running and I was just feeling tired. But the proper running style helped me maintain my speed! What a great day! Then I picked up my kids at child watch and ran a half mile with them on the track. They are freaking fast. I couldn't keep up (really. I wasn't just being nice and letting them win).
In other news: I registered my husband and I for the Tinker Bell Half Marathon in May at Disneyland! It will be his first big race! "Find your inner pixie" they tell him in the confirmation email. hahaha. I'm sure he's going to love that! Later this week I will be registering my family for the family 5k run so that my kids can do a race as well. :) We did that one as a family in January and it was the neatest experience.
Short term goals modified:
1) 10k in an hour
2) teach my kids good running posture and correct style.
As for nutrition, nailed it today! I hope to be able to keep it up!
Tomorrow is conditioning day. Woo hoo. . . Haven't heard back yet from the Roanoke Elite Athletes Club yet. Maybe later this week. We'll be running as a family now in the evenings and on Saturday's so my husband can get ready for his race too!
Super Sad about Robin Williams today, too. Super Duper sad. I felt like I understood him. I have been so depressed that death sounded as nice and peaceful as a vacation sounds to some people. A drink, maybe. A good book. a long hike. Or whatever makes you think of pure R and R. I would put my head on my pillow and think that death sounded nice and peaceful. That was just in recent years, but I no longer associate with the people who made me not able to live in my own mind. And I am okay now. I actually started running around the time this was happening and found that it helped me cope with the grief these two individuals had put me through. But when I heard he had committed suicide all I could think about was the time when there was so much going on in my mind that I could't live with in there. I couldn't exist as a human being with what was in there, and for a while I wasn't! I was a robot! I hope he has found peace from whatever was plaguing his mind. I was able to find my peace, but it took 2 and a half years. Two and a half years of utter sadness, disappointment, damage, you name it. But I finally found my peace. I kept waiting for these individuals to accept responsibility and thought that was the only way I would find my peace. but I found it through my Savior, Jesus Christ, and through making healthy changes to my life like running. I do feel sad for the families of people who don't understand what it's like to live in a mind plagued by obsessive thoughts that are out of control. But I myself can understand the ones who hurt themselves. I'm not saying it's okay or that it's right. I'm just saying that I know. And I hope he has peace now. I didn't think I'd ever live another day with peace in my mind and in my heart. And I do now every day. But it took a long time and I did a lot of damage along the way.
Monday, August 11, 2014
Joining a team!
I've decided to step it up. I have inquired with the Roanoke Elite Athletes team to see what is required to join!
I have set a limit for myself requiring myself to be able to run 8 minute miles before I start investing in this. Today I ran one mile at 9:48, then the mile after that was 9:18 and I ran them comfortably! I could have kept going but it started raining and all the possums and racoons came out. . . I'm not gonna mess around with them. . . . I set this goal for myself because it is very possible that with my joint disorder it may be physically impossible for me to do faster miles. So I need to first see if it is physically possible before I spend money to get better at it. Tomorrow my goal is to run a 10 k in 58 minutes. I get better and better each day! It's amazing!
Current Long Term Goal:
1) Qualify for Boston and/or NYC marathons
Current OUTRAGEOUS long term goal:
1) Qualify for Olympic National Trial (hey, shoot for the moon, right?)
Current short term goal:
1) Run a 10K in 58 minutes
2) Master the forefoot strike
3) Figure out this runners diet!
4) Find a nutritionist
Current Struggles:
1) Runners diet while also managing Hypoglycemia and extremely low blood pressure
2) left foot giving me a little grief. Twingy.
Triumphs:
1) Psoas muscle doesn't feel weak anymore. I didn't even think about on today's run at all.
2) Miles feeling super comfortable below ten minutes.
3) Ran a quarter mile at a six minute per mile pace. . . then wanted to die. . . . but still triumphant in my book!
Here's to ending a good training day! Hopefully tomorrow I'll be a little better about the diet. . . Today I was washing 1 cup of blueberries for a snack and thought a brownie was a good snack to munch on while washing my blueberries. :) Discipline, Melissa. Discipline!
I have set a limit for myself requiring myself to be able to run 8 minute miles before I start investing in this. Today I ran one mile at 9:48, then the mile after that was 9:18 and I ran them comfortably! I could have kept going but it started raining and all the possums and racoons came out. . . I'm not gonna mess around with them. . . . I set this goal for myself because it is very possible that with my joint disorder it may be physically impossible for me to do faster miles. So I need to first see if it is physically possible before I spend money to get better at it. Tomorrow my goal is to run a 10 k in 58 minutes. I get better and better each day! It's amazing!
Current Long Term Goal:
1) Qualify for Boston and/or NYC marathons
Current OUTRAGEOUS long term goal:
1) Qualify for Olympic National Trial (hey, shoot for the moon, right?)
Current short term goal:
1) Run a 10K in 58 minutes
2) Master the forefoot strike
3) Figure out this runners diet!
4) Find a nutritionist
Current Struggles:
1) Runners diet while also managing Hypoglycemia and extremely low blood pressure
2) left foot giving me a little grief. Twingy.
Triumphs:
1) Psoas muscle doesn't feel weak anymore. I didn't even think about on today's run at all.
2) Miles feeling super comfortable below ten minutes.
3) Ran a quarter mile at a six minute per mile pace. . . then wanted to die. . . . but still triumphant in my book!
Here's to ending a good training day! Hopefully tomorrow I'll be a little better about the diet. . . Today I was washing 1 cup of blueberries for a snack and thought a brownie was a good snack to munch on while washing my blueberries. :) Discipline, Melissa. Discipline!
Sunday, August 10, 2014
Why I am choosing running over pain meds
Yes, running takes time. Yes, running is boring. Yes, running doesn't always feel great.
Why do I choose that to manage pain over pain meds? Because my family has a predisposition to addiction and pain medication abuse.
Last month we took a family trip to Norther Arizona where we rented a cabin for a week. Halfway up we stopped a McDonald's in Payson, Az for lunch and bathroom break. Since there were so many of us, we chose to sit at one of those long booths that has chairs on one side of the tables and a booth on the other. My sister sat right in the center of the booth to save our seats. She started acting weird. She just had this look on her face. My younger sister and I were wondering if she was hungover or something. Then we watched her try to take a straw wrapper off and she couldn't do it. My other sister said, "I think she's on something." Then my brother came over with his trays of lunch for his daughters and sat them on the table. My sister said to him, "These seats are saved," as if he were a stranger. My brother didn't say anything. I guess he thought she was joking or something. He just went and rounded up the kids. But then she started staring off. My dad came over and sat down with his lunch. He asked if she was okay and she kind of started bobbing back and forth. There was an urgent care across the street so we sent my other sister over to get a wheel chair. I sat next to her and asked her some questions. She tried to tell me something but it was all slurred. I think she was in the middle of having a seizure. My sister got back at this point and told us that urgent care wouldn't see her. They said if we brought her in that they would just call an ambulance because it sounded like an overdose. I asked her something else and she was completely unresponsive. So I told my dad it was time to get her to the ER. My dad was scared out of his mind and said that maybe we weren't supposed to move her. And I insisted that we move her and get her in the car. So from center of this long booth, I sat next to my sister and pushed her inch by inch out of the booth. My dad and husband were at the end of the booth ready to catch her while my brother was out pulling up the car to the door. My dad and husband got her arms over their shoulders and proceeded to walk her out of the McDonald's. At this point her son started to notice something was wrong and freaked out a little bit. I made him stay with me and he kept saying, "I want my mom! I want my mom!" They got her in the car and took her to the ER. By then she had stopped seizing and was able to tell them she took three somas that morning. She said one she took by accident and just grabbed the wrong pill. Given her history I'm not inclined to believe it. I want to. But I just can't. They kept her at the hospital for monitoring and the rest of us siblings drove to the cabin with all the kids.
It was very scary. It was very nerve wracking to have to make decisions for her when we didn't know what was going on exactly. It was sad to watch her son watch all of this. And then when we drove home from the cabin a few days later we didn't even want to stop there because it gave us anxiety (it's one of about two places to stop in Payson). She's fine now, but I wonder if it caused any brain damage.
People with addictions and abuse think they are only damaging themselves. But they aren't! It affects everyone around them! It's a very selfish thing to do. Take care that I am not saying everyone who takes pain meds is selfish. I am saying if pain meds are abused it affects everyone around that person!
I know that my pain will get worse and that I will likely need to find other methods of pain management. I know that pain is very real. When I say these things about not taking drugs, etc people assume I don't know what their pain feels like. I know pain! Trust me! Four years ago I was walking with a cane and a walker! I still can't do certain motions because it takes me out for an entire day (whatever motion you do when scrubbing something like a bathtub or floor kills my hips for a few days no matter how good I feel from running). I know what it feels like to be in pain.
I can't make a lot of promises where my health is concerned because no one knows that future. But I promised my husband that night that if he ever had to take me to the hospital it wouldn't be for a drug overdose. I am going to ride this for as long as possible. As long as running keeps me pain free I am going to do it. And because I have witnessed on several occasions my families predisposition to addiction I will not pain meds. Even if I have to run for hours a day in the pouring rain, bored as heck, whatever. . . I'm not taking drugs. I will never be the source of that pain to my family.
Please remember, anyone reading this, that this is a personal declaration. I am not judging anyone or trying to say anything about anyone's method of pain management. This is my personal choice and it is based on my experiences with my own family and my own EDS III. I am aware that everyone situations are unique and I am not judging anyone. I am only saying that in as far as I can control it, I will do what I can to not make my family worry about me or have to take me to an ER from a Mcdonald's!
I will run myself right out of this world before I make my children or husband watch me sell all my hopes, dreams, personality, life and everything else to a prescription.
Why do I choose that to manage pain over pain meds? Because my family has a predisposition to addiction and pain medication abuse.
Last month we took a family trip to Norther Arizona where we rented a cabin for a week. Halfway up we stopped a McDonald's in Payson, Az for lunch and bathroom break. Since there were so many of us, we chose to sit at one of those long booths that has chairs on one side of the tables and a booth on the other. My sister sat right in the center of the booth to save our seats. She started acting weird. She just had this look on her face. My younger sister and I were wondering if she was hungover or something. Then we watched her try to take a straw wrapper off and she couldn't do it. My other sister said, "I think she's on something." Then my brother came over with his trays of lunch for his daughters and sat them on the table. My sister said to him, "These seats are saved," as if he were a stranger. My brother didn't say anything. I guess he thought she was joking or something. He just went and rounded up the kids. But then she started staring off. My dad came over and sat down with his lunch. He asked if she was okay and she kind of started bobbing back and forth. There was an urgent care across the street so we sent my other sister over to get a wheel chair. I sat next to her and asked her some questions. She tried to tell me something but it was all slurred. I think she was in the middle of having a seizure. My sister got back at this point and told us that urgent care wouldn't see her. They said if we brought her in that they would just call an ambulance because it sounded like an overdose. I asked her something else and she was completely unresponsive. So I told my dad it was time to get her to the ER. My dad was scared out of his mind and said that maybe we weren't supposed to move her. And I insisted that we move her and get her in the car. So from center of this long booth, I sat next to my sister and pushed her inch by inch out of the booth. My dad and husband were at the end of the booth ready to catch her while my brother was out pulling up the car to the door. My dad and husband got her arms over their shoulders and proceeded to walk her out of the McDonald's. At this point her son started to notice something was wrong and freaked out a little bit. I made him stay with me and he kept saying, "I want my mom! I want my mom!" They got her in the car and took her to the ER. By then she had stopped seizing and was able to tell them she took three somas that morning. She said one she took by accident and just grabbed the wrong pill. Given her history I'm not inclined to believe it. I want to. But I just can't. They kept her at the hospital for monitoring and the rest of us siblings drove to the cabin with all the kids.
It was very scary. It was very nerve wracking to have to make decisions for her when we didn't know what was going on exactly. It was sad to watch her son watch all of this. And then when we drove home from the cabin a few days later we didn't even want to stop there because it gave us anxiety (it's one of about two places to stop in Payson). She's fine now, but I wonder if it caused any brain damage.
People with addictions and abuse think they are only damaging themselves. But they aren't! It affects everyone around them! It's a very selfish thing to do. Take care that I am not saying everyone who takes pain meds is selfish. I am saying if pain meds are abused it affects everyone around that person!
I know that my pain will get worse and that I will likely need to find other methods of pain management. I know that pain is very real. When I say these things about not taking drugs, etc people assume I don't know what their pain feels like. I know pain! Trust me! Four years ago I was walking with a cane and a walker! I still can't do certain motions because it takes me out for an entire day (whatever motion you do when scrubbing something like a bathtub or floor kills my hips for a few days no matter how good I feel from running). I know what it feels like to be in pain.
I can't make a lot of promises where my health is concerned because no one knows that future. But I promised my husband that night that if he ever had to take me to the hospital it wouldn't be for a drug overdose. I am going to ride this for as long as possible. As long as running keeps me pain free I am going to do it. And because I have witnessed on several occasions my families predisposition to addiction I will not pain meds. Even if I have to run for hours a day in the pouring rain, bored as heck, whatever. . . I'm not taking drugs. I will never be the source of that pain to my family.
Please remember, anyone reading this, that this is a personal declaration. I am not judging anyone or trying to say anything about anyone's method of pain management. This is my personal choice and it is based on my experiences with my own family and my own EDS III. I am aware that everyone situations are unique and I am not judging anyone. I am only saying that in as far as I can control it, I will do what I can to not make my family worry about me or have to take me to an ER from a Mcdonald's!
I will run myself right out of this world before I make my children or husband watch me sell all my hopes, dreams, personality, life and everything else to a prescription.
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