384 lbs of happiness

I could write volumes about the things I love about my husband. But today, I love how excited he gets about my job. We are now suppliers of window treatment parts. When our supplies came in from China today I texted him. He said, "384 lbs of cord lock happiness!" He was super excited and asked for detailed pictures and descriptions because he couldn't wait to get home to see what 384 lbs of cord locks and cord pulls looks like. I love that he gets excited and encourages my job. So anywho, my workout today began with carrying 14 boxes of cord locks and pulls totally 384 lbs. How much fun was that? I'd rather be passing a kidney stone.

I ran 8.02 miles today! And it was awesome! My goal is to run a 10K in one hour by Friday.

Best part of today, My husband says he wants to start running! He's been working out a little here and there the past month when he takes the kids to swim lessons. But tonight he said he wanted to do more after the kids go to bed! I'm super happy for him! He won't admit it, but I think I inspired him :)

I want to go pass out now from running so much. So I am going to go do that. Tomorrow I get to train a new seamstress, but back hard at work on Wednesday!

All I can say about going into this week is that I am so happy and happiness makes a huge difference. I used to run while angry. And that did seem to help me run faster ;) but it felt heavy. Like I felt like I had a weight on me as I ran. And I had a significant event happen yesterday that made that whole list of reasons I am running this marathon dwindle down significantly to just a few. And now that I am more focused and much happier with where my life is, I can say I feel the difference when I run. It has made me want to go further. I am so happy this week! I think that's a side affect of running ;)

Retraining

Back at it today. 5 miles. But after having the flu my lungs and heart are weak and I couldn't go longer than two miles at a time before having to do a recovery lap.

Awesome things:

1) Sleep, got lots of it while I was sick.
2) Random people saying I inspire them to go an extra mile.
3) Same random people inspiring me right back as they see me slowing down and tell me to go just one more lap.
4) Psoas muscle= healed! Guess it took coming down with the flu to really let that rest.
5) Hubs is SUPER encouraging of my running.
6) Hubs :)
7) 10:15 miles after a flu! Even if I could only do five . . .
8) Watching my kids do well in gymnastics at the same time that I train for my marathon.

Happy day! Everything is just great!

Man down!

The flu finally caught up with me today. I didn't have it nearly as bad as everyone else in my family. While I had to make sure I remained horizontal all day, I was successful at not vomiting :)

We also got at least three inches of snow today. No running for me today. But I did start to think about what my marathon play list will be.  Anyone have any good running song suggestions?

Popcorn Recipe for runners

I love my Runner's World Cookbook. We do movie night at our house on Saturdays. On Saturday I made a popcorn recipe I found in my new cookbook. It's super simple and very good.

I am unsure of the exact ratios because I had to make enough for the whole family. So I kind of made them up :)

1/2 C popcorn kernals
2 tbps sesame oil
1 tsp cinnamon
2 tsp sugar
1/8 tsp. nutmeg
salt

Big hit! I worked all night and morning and then took my kid to play at my friend's house. We have kids the same age and she and I are performing in church on Easter Sunday. So no running today. Sleep for me instead :) Tomorrow it is going to snow 3". This winter will never end. I hope to get some running in at some point tomorrow, but not really counting on it. Maybe tomorrow will be a good day to try some new recipes from the Runner's World Cookbook.

The only thing I haven't "converted" to yet is using Portobello mushrooms instead of bread. What the heck? I don't know if I'll ever completely conform.  . . I don't mind mushrooms. I put them in everything! But using them as slices of bread?! I just haven't been able to wrap my mind around that yet. . .  Going to egg whites was enough for a few weeks. Working on the diet slowly but surely.

Everything is Awesome!

Back at it today after a week of flu in my house. I ran 3 miles only, but it was late and dark. I also made the most of it by doing tempo runs. It was great. I didn't realize how fast I could make myself run without getting winded. There's the comfortable pace and then there's the push pace and I actually felt really good going as fast as I physically could. I was surprised! I thought for sure it would wear me completely out after the first few rounds, but I did three sets without even getting winded! I am definitely making progress in the right direction!

Now, I promise I'm no trying to sell anything. But I cannot believe these doTERRA oils! I am known to get every single thing my kids bring into the house. I've suffered through colds, flu, PINK EYE! ear infections, and even hand foot and mouth disease right along with my kids. So when my kids started vomiting this week, I started working like crazy in preparation to be down for two days, at least. But I haven't gotten sick! (knock on wood). And the only thing that's different is that I've started using these oils! I'm convinced! And since my only readers are likely EDSers, The essential oil blend, Deep Blue, is amazing on joints. I use Deep Blue Rub after I run and when it rains and it is amazing! I just can't attribute it to anything else. I ALWAYS get EVERYTHING my kids do.

I've been resting a lot this week between taking care of sick kids, working and letting this psoas muscle heal. I felt really good tonight and I think I'm healed. So I am looking forward to a great week next week. I think I'm going back to my 5 am morning runs for next week.

Great marathon training day that didn't include running :)

My kids take gymnastics every Thursday afternoon. There is a man that takes his kids there as well. He started exercising during the hour long class. After the first few classes he decided to go more than just once a week. It turns out he was there on Wednesday while I was running my four mile stretch. When we were dropping off our kids he said, "I was so glad when you stopped running yesterday. When I got on the elyptical I said to myself, 'I'll go for as long as she runs.' And then you just kept going and going and going." ha! Then he asked if I'd be running that day, but I had decided to rest. He said, "Darn! You keep me going!" I said, "Go! Go on your own! Do it!" And then he ran up the stairs to the track. It was funny. I'm so glad I inspire people! That's what I want. I want to influence for good!

DOOM!

This week I have been trying to let my psoas muscle heal. I thought I was all better and ran 4 miles yesterday. It doesn't feel terrible today, but it also doesn't feel really great either.

I ran four miles straight yesterday with an 11:35 average. It was very exciting for me. I had a very happy smile on my face and I'm sure everyone was looking at me and how ridiculous I looked. I didn't have to do any recovery laps. It felt awesome! I'm a long way from 8 minute miles, especially if this muscle never heals. But I continue to improve every day!

My kids and husband have been very sick with a nasty flu. Like, vomit every ten minutes sick. I haven't gotten it yet, which is weird because I almost ALWAYS get everything my kids get. I do feel the looming cloud of doom over my head, but I am doing everything I can to prevent it. If I have to retrain my lungs to go long distances this late in the game, I'm doomed.

Healing

I have taken it really slow this week to heal. I ran 3.82 miles on Wednesday. Today I ran 7 miles. It was supposed to be 18, but I just wasn't confident that my Psoas muscle had indeed healed. So I came home and now I'm disappointed in myself. But I know if I had gone on I'd be right back where I was last week. So I'll just have to do my 18 miler next week.

Frustrating. This takes so much time!

Selfishness

5.4 miles today. I am feeling like a miserable failure. I really should be further. I'm frustrated. But I continue to have pain in what my husband helped me discover is called my Psoas muscle. I thought I had given myself enough time to recover, but today it feels worse than ever.

However, I am making other mental breakthroughs that will help me to do better and keep going. Yesterday's post was good for me. It was good to write down a few things. Yes, I want to say that I am doing this for just my kids or just to inspire or for only good things. But the truth is, I need this to heal. And it was good for me to admit that yesterday. It feels good to finally say that yes I am doing this for selfish reasons. Because I have a very hard time dealing with certain aspects of my life: death, mortality, family, betrayal, etc. Running has been the best way I have found to deal and cope. And now that I have finally admitted it, I have felt like I can finally run with a clear mind and focus on the less selfish reasons.

Because of this clearer mind, I woke up this morning excited to start the day and excited to see how far I would run. And I was so excited when I finally got out to run. But then disappointed when the pain hit. But I still ran 5.4 miles. Someone did ask me if I was okay. And I told them that if I didn't do something because it hurt I'd never do anything ever. But I do realize I need to allow myself to heal. But how much time does that take??? Argh! I think I'll try swimming and the elliptical for a few days.

Super frustrated.

Worst day, by far.

Friday I ran 1.82 miles. My shin splints were so painful I had to stop running. I sat in a corner on the running track and got very emotional. The only person I wanted to call was my sister, Ashley. And she's in boot camp right now :( I felt defeated. I sat there and stared at the track. And after about 8 minutes, I got up. I had to turn over on my knees and get up backwards because I was in so much pain. I walked slowly around the track once. It probably took me about 3 to 4 minutes. When I made a full loop I told myself that you don't get to Boston by sitting and looking at the track. So I started to run. In excrutiating pain, I ran 8 laps, which is more than half a mile. I held my breath, bit my lower lip and ran 8 laps. Then I sat down again. Someone who sees me there often came and sat with me and introduced himself. His name is Matt. He said, "You come here often, right? Like three times a week at least." I gathered that must be how often he is there for work. My reply: "I'm here everyday." He said, "Yah, have you already done your 50 laps?" I said, "Yep! now I just need to do 100 more!" He told me that I inspired him. I told him I was feeling defeated and wasn't sure what to do. While I knew the best thing to do was to rest and let my legs heal, I couldn't get my mind to wrap around that. After all, I had run 8 miles previously on shin splints. So why couldn't I just keep going? I told him I was going to take the weekend off. He told me he'd see me Monday and come to check on me. It was kind of nice to talk to someone instead of just running right past people and never getting to know them.

So here I am, on the couch, oiling my muscles and shins like crazy with my new doterra essential oils. I feel really good and hope to do an easy run tomorrow (easy run=distance, not speed). And you may have noticed, I let myself slip up in the previous paragraph. I've been telling people, so I figured I may as well tell the blog. And as I said before it isn't a huge deal, but I didn't want the added pressure of disappointing readers. I'm trying to qualify for the Boston Marathon. To do this, I have to run a marathon in 3:30. So far I am at 4:20. And I need to get that down in about 5 weeks. I'm not really sure it's realistic. I can do another race later in the year, but I fear if I go to pick my back up race I won't try my darndest to make it on this one. So I'll wait to after this race to see if I need to do another qual race.

Now, onto a question my new friend Matt had for me and that I have often been asked by others: Why am I running this marathon. There are so many reasons. One HUGE one, but many others that I will just bullet here. Some you may have no clue what I am talking about, and I won't delve into each of them. But you can just know that it is something that inspires, keeps me going something I want to get over, heal from, not think about, put in the past, or improve on.

-EDS III
-Grandma Joyce Jowels and grandma Ida arms
-Grandma Joyce and Grandma Ida :(
-Preston, Chris, Angie, Justin, Matt, Carl, Ben, Ryan, Talia and all my other friends whom I have lost over the years.
-Stress, Anger and frustration
- Home Remedy Designs: Cure For The Common Home; An act of betrayal that has hurt worse than any other pain I have experience.
-My children
-My mom
-My husband, as running has improved my general well being and makes me a much more pleasant person to be around ;)
-My seamstresses whom I owe my entire business to! Running makes me a better manager.
- Heavenly Father, I feel like running is my way of thanking Him for still being mobile in spite of the disorder.
- And lastly, because someone told me it wasn't possible. And that may be right. This may not be possible. Someone told me it wasn't possible for someone with EDS to complete a marathon. And that could very well be true. But I wanted to decide for myself. I will be the one to say that it is impossible for me, someone with EDS, to complete a marathon. And that is what April 27th is all about. I'll be the one to determine what I can and can't do. And if I can't complete it I am totally fine with that. Because I do know and understand that is a very real possibility for someone in my situation. But I won't know till I try. And I won't accept someone else telling me that it isn't. Even if they're right! Maybe it wasn't for them. And if I can't, you won't ever hear me telling someone else with EDS that they can't do it. Because every person is different with a different situation. I'll decide for myself what is possible and not possible for me.

I have had to deal with a lot of pain and grief in my life. When it has come to the death of my friends and family and dealing with health, I have mostly kept those feelings and emotions bottled up. I used to set aside a time during the week when I would allow myself to fall apart. That way, when I felt it coming on during the week I could just tell myself it wasn't time. Then I wasn't in danger of losing myself and wasting a whole day to grieving. So I had a pity party hour. And training for this marathon has helped me cope with a lot of that. I think about these things while I am on my run. I imagine myself running away from it and in the end I symbolically always end up in the same place: right back at home. So even though I imagine I am running away from it all I end my grieving runs with the understanding that I am just going to end up where I Started. Then I begin to heal. I have started to think about my friends and loved ones as I run and all the good memories we had together. And I like to imagine that they are cheering for me to complete this seemingly impossible task I have put before myself. And now instead of running from them, I feel that they are uplifting me.

Even with the betrayal pain I have had to deal with, I have found myself running toward the finish thinking, "They can't hurt me at mile 26." But now, as I have completed half of my training, I have found that I want to take Home Remedy Designs with me all the way to mile 26 and wish them the best of luck. It started out as a painful healing process. But I feel so uplifted by all these events that have happened in my life that I can't help but focus on the positive. I am so glad that I could give these women something that they could take from me and make their own to help support their families. Thinking on it that way has given me so much peace. And now when I think about it as I run to heal from it, I don't feel that I need to heal. I don't feel the weight of it and the pain in my chest that it used to bring. I feel peace and contentment that I was able to help improve their lives and their own families. And that peace helps me run a little faster, and that weight taken from my shoulders helps me run a little faster.

I used to imagine myself running across the finish line with a list of names of people I'd lost that I couldn't cope with any more, and with Home Remedy Designs on it. And I imagined myself just throwing it away at the finish line with all the other pain in my life. But I already have rid myself of it. I often find myself meditating and praying while running and I have felt that divine peace come over me where these people and this business are concerned. And I love the fact that I can now imagine myself crossing the finish line for no other reason than to help inspire others and teach my children to decide for themselves what is possible for them and not live their lives based on what someone else told them was possible.

Training for this marathon has already been a life altering experience and I imagine race day will be as well, whether I complete it or not.

Best day, by far.

REcap:

Tuesday: 4.85 miles (pulled a muscle in my leg. First real running injury. Put some doTerra oils on it and was well by the next day).
Wednesday: 6.2 miles at a 12 minute consistent speed. Taking it easy so as not to injure again
Thurdsay, TODAY: 1.86 miles. So why was today the best day??? I'll tell you.

So, my kids started gymnastics today. The running track is on the second level of the gym. The gymnastics class was on the first level. So watching my children be cute and adorable made running nearly impossible. So I ran one mile then walked and observed my children. As I walked several people came up to me and said, "Not running today?" They all knew who I was! Some said, "But you're my inspiration to keep going!" It was awesome! Then I went down to the gym to get my kids. They were in Gym B. I had to walk through Gym A to get them. And a handful of Basketball players all acknowledged me and some said, "You didn't run today." I didn't realize I made an impression on people. ha! I did run 8 miles on shin splints last week and they could have all noticed me because the look on my face must have been that of shear horror. So maybe that's how they all knew me. "You're the girl who crawls the last 5 laps." "You're the girl who cries through the last 3 miles of her run." haha! I am glad I inspire people, though. I used to inspire people on the level that I would run with a joint disorder. But today, those people don't know I have a joint disorder! So I inspire on a "normal" level! I am on par with "normal" athletes! It's pretty awesome. I am very happy.

In addition to my run/walk, I did a bunch of the weight machines because if I don't I fall apart. Mostly focused on arms because my arms have been subluxing like mad in my sleep. A dislocation is coming, I can feel it. :/

Shin Splints

Trying to let my shin splints heal and taking it easy.

Thursday 2/27: 1.21 miles
Saturday 3/1: 5.67 miles
Monday 3/3: 6.5 miles

Hoping for 8-10 today, but we'll see. Shin splints are pretty wicked. I feel fine most of the time, but when I start to run I feel broken. My legs feel like snapped twigs. :/

I have started using Deep Blue fro DoTerra and I really like it. I also have a heating pad on my legs all the time if I am not walking. When I am working and standing at my work table I usually have my legs wrapped up in the heating pad.

Hydration has also been an issue. I always think I'm drinking constantly, but when I try to do a long run, even with drinking water every two miles, at the speed I am running I just feel like I'm not hydrated enough. ugh! One of these days Ill get this running thing figured out and then I'll be great!