Tuesday, February 24, 2015

The world is as it is. I am as I am. 2/24


I was keeping track of everything on Garmin Connect, but I will be returning to the blog to track everything.

EDS pain: negligible to moderate. Both knees hurting and right shoulder. No dislocations, but there was weather pressure as it was snowing.

Overall temperament: Irritated ;) What else is new.  . .  But we choose how we feel, right?

Injury recovery: I went to 56 minutes into my run today without feeling any pain or twinging at all from my psoas muscle. This was significant improvement, so I will be trying to increase my speed again starting tomorrow. I feel comfortable with that. I used to feel it twinging within the first mile. I got to mile 5 before feeling anything today. So I'm confident I can lengthen my stride a little. I have to take that part slow as that's what you use your psoas muscle for!


Today I got my new running shoes for my next race. I decided to try Brooks. I normally always go with aesics only because I know they work well for all my issues. but I decided to branch out today. I got the Brooks Cadence shoe. I hope i don't have buyer's remorse. I've been having a lot of "buyer's remorse" this past week. . .

Yesterday's post stemmed from frustration with a situation in my family. I am so frustrated with drug abuse. It ruins families and lives. There are other ways. I am just irritated in general. But again, I am choosing to be irritated. I can choose to feel another way. . . So I try to think of something else. Anything else. Today it was Samuel Coleridge's Rime of the Ancient Mariner. I thought specifically of part 4. It is my favorite. Though, the entire poem is beautiful and it should be read in its entirety. When my mind is overwhelmed, I replace my thoughts with this (or something similar) and then I feel peaceful.

PART IV
'I fear thee, ancient Mariner!
I fear thy skinny hand!
And thou art long, and lank, and brown,
As is the ribbed sea-sand.

I fear thee and thy glittering eye,
And thy skinny hand, so brown.'—
Fear not, fear not, thou Wedding-Guest!
This body dropt not down.

Alone, alone, all, all alone,
Alone on a wide wide sea!
And never a saint took pity on
My soul in agony.

The many men, so beautiful!
And they all dead did lie:
And a thousand thousand slimy things
Lived on; and so did I.

I looked upon the rotting sea,
And drew my eyes away;
I looked upon the rotting deck,
And there the dead men lay.

I looked to heaven, and tried to pray;
But or ever a prayer had gusht,
A wicked whisper came, and made
My heart as dry as dust.

I closed my lids, and kept them close,
And the balls like pulses beat;
For the sky and the sea, and the sea and the sky
Lay dead like a load on my weary eye,
And the dead were at my feet.

The cold sweat melted from their limbs,
Nor rot nor reek did they:
The look with which they looked on me
Had never passed away.

An orphan's curse would drag to hell
A spirit from on high;
But oh! more horrible than that
Is the curse in a dead man's eye!
Seven days, seven nights, I saw that curse,
And yet I could not die.

The moving Moon went up the sky,
And no where did abide:
Softly she was going up,
And a star or two beside—

Her beams bemocked the sultry main,
Like April hoar-frost spread;
But where the ship's huge shadow lay,
The charmèd water burnt alway
A still and awful red.

Beyond the shadow of the ship,
I watched the water-snakes:
They moved in tracks of shining white,
And when they reared, the elfish light
Fell off in hoary flakes.

Within the shadow of the ship
I watched their rich attire:
Blue, glossy green, and velvet black,
They coiled and swam; and every track
Was a flash of golden fire.

O happy living things! no tongue
Their beauty might declare:
A spring of love gushed from my heart,
And I blessed them unaware:
Sure my kind saint took pity on me,
And I blessed them unaware.

The self-same moment I could pray;
And from my neck so free
The Albatross fell off, and sank
Like lead into the sea.



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