Monday, March 27th, 2023

 Today would have been my Mother in law’s 73rd birthday. Every once in a while I catch myself thinking, “Wow. She’s really gone.” I think I’ve processed it, but then I have those moments where I think, “Wait. This is real.” I miss her very much and I hope she knows how much I loved her.

Last week was very busy. Lots going on. Monday we had a fake simulation at school. It was nice because we got to try out all the skills we had learned with no consequences. It was good to do that in a calm, relaxed environment first before going into the real clinical setting. It’s okay to kill a mannequin when you’re trying out new things, but not a real person. ;) Monday night I worked. I worked with a bunch of people I had never met before. I realized eventually that they were probably all from a staffing agency and not core staff which means. . .  our hospital is in rough shape where staff is concerned. What else is new???

Tuesday, I slept most of the day because I worked the night before. When I woke up I was met with this unfortunate display of pure idiocy. 

Like!!! Did you think I wouldn’t notice???? THEN he made US buy new tile to fix it! So I told Garren I can’t communicate with him anymore. Garren has to do all the communicating. He only came once last week and it was to fix his errors. I’m beyond angry at this moment. He is taking so long to do this project. 

Wednesday we had my grandpa’s funeral. It was nice. It was also kind of strange. We didn’t have a great relationship with him. When I was young I remember him calling my dad a few times and saying, “We’ve been in Arizona for a week and are leaving tomorrow. Wanted to see if you wanted to get together for dinner.” I remember even as a little child thinking that was a little strange that he’d been there all week and only just now calling us. Or he’d bring all us girls presents and tell Neal that the store they went to didn’t have anything for boys. So some of his family was there from his second wife. He adopted her kids. And the kids and grandkids of his third wife. So the second wife’s kids came up to me and were telling me how he was more of a father to them than their real father. And one of his third wife’s grandchildren came up to me, Miriam and my two nieces and said, “What’s your relationship to Poppie?” In my head I was thinking, “Who the hell is  Poppie?” My niece said, “I think I met him once at a party last year.” Miriam said, “I made a puzzle with him once.” And I explained that we didn’t really have a relationship. She said, “Oh. They raised me. I lived with them basically my whole life.” I said, “I’m glad you had a good experience with him.” My grandpa wasn’t a bad guy and I don’t think he was abandoning us or my dad. I think he probably just thought we were okay because we had my Grandma Joyce and her husband, Bob. And I think he thought Bob was to us what he was trying to be for this other wive’s children and grandchildren. And that’s okay because Bob really was great to us. I do have a connection to Grandpa Bob. He was great! It’s all okay. It is what it is. 

These pictures didn’t come through in order and I’m not going to organize them. 

Dad spoke at the grave side.

This is my funeral dress. I wore it to Cyndie’s wedding too. It’s very cute. I wish I had more occasions to wear it than death.

These lady’s were amazing. When she gave my dad the flag she spoke with such sincerity and sympathy as if she knew my grandfather. It was just amazing. 

Finally got a picture with my siblings!! 

Me and MirMir in our funeral attire. 

Mark spoke as well. He had a different relationship with his dad than my dad did. It was very sweet. 

The “Grandpa” floral arrangement. This was at the funeral home, Meldrum’s. 

Moving on. . .  Thursday was lecture at school. We started electrolytes. The panic in the room hung heavy. 😂 I felt like I had a good foundation because I had to understand some of it for being a monitor tech. So hopefully I do well on the test! 

Friday I had my first clinical rotation!! We were at a long term care facility. It happens to be owned by the same people that own the first LTC I worked at, Montecito. So I knew what to expect. One girl in particular wanted to paired up with me as I have worked in LTC before. I enjoyed that. She was open and receptive to learning. I am consciously aware that I am annoying at school. I try not to be, but sometimes I don’t realize it until it’s too late. I am over enthusiastic about everything I am learning. I love to learn. And when I know the answer and no one else does I am very eager to offer my knowledge. I know that’s annoying to everyone around me. It was nice on Friday to have someone want to be with me and take advantage of my knowledge instead of being off putting to people. I wish I wasn’t this way, but I don’t really know how to be “enthusiastically cool.” It is what it is. . .  Someday there will be someone that appreciates my enthusiasm toward being right all the time and having all the answers. Basically, this is me every single day at school. Even in the poop lectures!

Saturday was Miriam’s swim meat. She did great!! I love watching her perform. 

The very beginning of the performance. 

Right before performing.

Putting on makeup after I knoxxed her hair.

Adjusting the nose clip.

Again, the video of the performance won’t upload. File too big. I figure it out one day. . . 

Here’s where we stand with our very frustrating bathroom remodel. 

And this week’s post is brought to you this time by Rainbow, the black cat that blends in with all things black.

Sunday, March 12, 2023

 This past week was uneventful, until last night. . . when Grandpa died. . . . 

This was the last school week of Labs. We had our final practicum which was catheter insertion. I practiced on Joshua’s monkey stuffed animal. Poor monkey. . . 

I passed the practicum even though I had the hardest evaluator. And I kept making stupid mistakes. But I’d catch myself and correct it. I kept saying, “I broke sterile field, so I would get a new kit and start over.” I probably went through 18 “imaginary” kits. I just didn’t want to fail over something like sterile field. Glad it’s over with.

I did have the teacher evaluating me who is notoriously hard on students. She was very nice and I didn’t find it difficult to perform in front of her. Well, aside from the jitters I would have had with any evaluator. The students in my class are hard on this teacher. They often complain about her teaching style and methods, but I don’t have a problem with it. She gives us all the information we need to prepare for her lectures before class starts. But the other students act like they are walking in blind and leaving completely uninformed. That just isn’t the case. Maybe she needs to make it more clear that she gives us the class preparation guide before class begins. They all prefer our other teacher’s teaching style, but I don’t. The teacher they are hard on isn’t the most ‘lively’ or entertaining teacher, but she knows her stuff and has many years of experience. When she tells me something I know I can take that for the “gospel truth.” Our other teacher is fun, young, and energetic. She shares a lot of experiences and stories. That’s what the other students like about her. Honestly, it takes up a lot of class time and she doesn’t finish her lectures. She ends up having to go home and record more lecture for us to watch later. But I can’t ever watch them because the time I have for lecture is just the time that I am in lecture! So, I appreciate that the other teacher is able to stick to that schedule and get all the information in. I do like both teachers. Their methods and styles are different. 

Our bathroom remodel is coming along. Here’s where we stand currently. Our remodel guy is very slow. I knew that going into it as he did our kitchen backsplash. We made a schedule when we started this for progress payments to give along the way. We finished those progress payments a week ago and the next payment due was scheduled for when the project was complete. We are no where even close to complete because he is so slow and only works 4 or so hours a day. So on Thursday he was getting ready to leave and said, “Smaller progress payment tomorrow. Maybe $2,000?” I said, “Not according to our agreement. We don’t owe you anything else until the project is complete.” He gave me a look and said, “I’ve gotta have something.” I said, “So do I. I need a bathroom.” Then I said I’d talk to Garren and see where we’re at and get back to him. On Friday he worked a little faster and even had some things in progress on Saturday with the plumber and electrician. So I guess he’ll work a little faster now that he knows he doesn’t get paid again until he’s done. He’s probably about 3 weeks out! That’s my guess.

Last night we went to my dad’s office for our yearly tax meeting. We buy him dinner and have a meal together then we do our taxes. While we were there my Uncle Mark called Dad and told him that my grandpa had died. My dad said they were expecting it and he had gone over the day before to give him a blessing. He didn’t think it would be so soon though. I was glad we were with him when he got the call. We stayed for an extra thirty or so minutes to just chat and try to comfort him. 

This is a picture of me and Josh with my grandpa and Dad and Uncle Mark. I took my kids over a few times to do puzzles and games with him so they could get to know him a little bit. I’m glad we had that time together. I am very grateful for my Aunt JoAnn and Uncle Mark who had Grandpa living with them for the past few years until he went to a group home. It is challenging mentally, physically, and emotionally to be a caregiver. 

Unfortunately, I don’t have many memories with my grandpa. He lived in Hawaii and California and didn’t visit often. But from what I experiences I did have with him I know he had a strong testimony of the church and he was great at family history. When he would come visit he would always show us what progress he’s made on the family tree. Dad said he had made comments recently that if he wasn’t useful he didn’t want to linger. So now he can go and be useful in the Kingdom of God. As Grandma Joyce said, “On to new vistas.”

Joshua gave a talk in church today. The subject was “Love Thy Neighbor.” I recorded it for my parents. Ones of these days I’ll be smart enough to upload it on here. He did such a good job. He made eye contact, he spoke clearly and confidently. . . most of the time, and his talk was focused and concise. It was very good. Until I figure out how to upload it, here’s a picture of he and I. 

And, finally, here’s a picture from this week of Sugar thinking she’s a lap dog.