Took a break to catch up on life.

Hello, everyone! I took a break for several reasons. The biggest one is because the next race that I am going to sign up for is ALL I want to talk about, but I didn't want to talk about it until I knew for sure it was going to happen. But as of today, I've save up enough of my pennies to buy my plane tickets for my family and I to go to. . .  Switzerland for the IronMan 70.3 in June next year!

Here's a little about what I've been doing in preparation for this:

1) RACING!
Race! Race! Race! Running keeps me from dislocating. I can't explain it. it doesn't make much sense to me yet. but it keeps me in one piece! I found a great group on Facebook for Athletes with EDS. It's such a wonderful and encouraging environment as opposed to the regular EDS FB group where people complain a lot.

I've done a few races since I last posted, but my most recent was Ragnar Tennessee!

This is me and teammate, Jessica before my first leg. It was a cold TN morning, but the smoky mountains were beautiful!

 This is Adam explaining things to me because this was my first road Ragnar. I had only done a trail Ragnar previously. Adam is responsible for making me a Ragnar Junky :) 

*All the best start at 5 am, in my opinion. . . .

Ragnar Medals!  Every teammate'a medal has a piece of this "puzzle." Together they say "Together we ran 200-ish miles." :) I believe is t was 194.6 from Chattanooga to Nashville.

We  used my van for van 1. Each team has two vans and six runners.

We wrote our names on the window and checked off each leg as we finished it.

All you have to do is go on  a long run with someone and you'll learn their reason for running. 

I don't think anyone I ran with ran because "running is fun." Everyone has a different reason for running. I loved this race and loved meeting so many wonderful people. they are a great addition to my life and I am grateful for them. I am grateful for the experience. Though I will admit, it was brutal. I don't know if I can physically do another one. But I can certainly try. I had a difficult time on my last leg in this race having dislocated my knee. My teammates were so kind and encouraging. They cheered me on from the van and reminded me that all they cared about was finishing and not time. They were very kind. It was a good group!

2) Therapy:
I've been in therapy for the past few months. I have Obsessive Dominant Disorder. It's Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, but I don't struggle with the compulsions as much. I am unable to control how much I obsess about one particular thought. I think about it till I have made myself sick. This happens when I start to feel stressed. And when do I feel stressed?? When my life feels like it's out of my control! When does my life feel like it's out of my control?? Every time I can tell my EDS is progressing. So. . .  EVERYDAY! I tend to hyper focus on the worst even of my life. So I have been in therapy for it. And I think I found a doctor that is just the right match for me. I've been to two other doctors in the past for my OCD. But this one is a perfect match for me. She has been so helpful to me!

My birthday is in five days. Four years ago on my birthday the worst even of my life happened. I was betrayed and hurt by two family members. This made my OCD the worst it has ever been in my life. I did and said things that "weren't me." I definitely wasn't myself. I have been spending the past four years trying to show these people that that wasn't me and that I am in fact a kind and generous person. I am very loving and I care very deeply for everyone in my life. My OCD makes me someone I'm not. My therapist has been helping understand that what happened to me was awful and my verbal responses are something I have to live with and make room for in myself because I can't take them back, She is helping me make room for the extreme discomfort I  feel when I think about the horrible things I said. On the other hand, she is also helping me to not obsess over making it up to them because she understands, and agrees, that what these people did to me was a horrible heinous crime and how human beings could treat other human beings that way is just beyond us all. So she has been helping me try to stop feeling the need to show these people who don't deserve anything from me that I am actually a good person. I've been hyperfocusing on that one day of my life when I have 29 years of goodness around that one day. They don't deserve to be a part of my life. They were cruel and horrible to me and I am slowly learning to accept it. They are not right with me and my mind has a hard time being at peace with that. I often hope that at that special time and place when they are asked if they "right with their fellow man" that they will think of me, because they aren't. My mind starts to obsess with making the pieces fit together like a puzzle. When they don't fit together, I think about it over and over and over trying to force it all to fit. Trying to think of why they would abandon me during our busiest time which they were fully and completely aware of. Why they would keep money for work they didn't do. Why they would do this to me on my birthday. What kind of a person does that to another human being? It's cruel. Its' hateful. What they did was not okay and is still not right with me. It has been four years, but no single event in my life has affect me and my family so much as this one. So when I start to get stressed out or start to get frustrated over my progressing decline in health, my mind immediately turns to that incident. I have been very fortunate to find a doctor that I am making great success with, but the road is long. I remain diligent in my treatment with her, but it is a constant battle. I am constantly fighting with my thoughts and battling them and it is exhausting. But I am in a much better place now. She is teaching me to be committed to forgiveness.I know it's working because my other fears have started coming to my mind lately when I get stressed, not just this single event. More on that another day if there are any other EDS readers out there who struggle with OCD and want to chat about it. . .

Basically, I've been trying to get this "mind, body, spirit" thing figured out and I wanted to get my mind in a healthy place so I could be at my best for next years race season. I'm feeling really good overall these days. I'm still working on things and still struggle with my thoughts. It will be that way for a while. But I am so much better now than before. I don't get sick over the obsessions anymore.

3) Surgery
I had surgery in August. I had to have a uterine oblation. With EDS being a tissue disorder, it's no surprise that the various organs in my body are fighting against me. I was going to go with the partial hysterectomy, but my doctor advised we go this route first. I am pleased so far.

I have an intolerance to pain meds? Any of you EDSers like that?

6 hours post op. Doing work emails :)

24 hours post op. Walked 1/4 mile!

Then three weeks later, I ran the Rock N Roll Virginia Beach Half Marathon!

So, suck on that, EDS!

4) Working
Work has been going so well. I just hired my 20th seamstress! This team is getting out of control! Luckily, I have a great assistant who can manage all these people! For any new readers,  I own and operate a custom window treatments business. It has been wildly successful! We are now on Amazon Handmade. Still getting inventory in there, but you can check us out here. And we're finally getting our snazzy new website. In anticipation of an influx in orders I've been hiring everyone who asks for a job :) So hopefully this all works out! ha!


Where I'm going:

Upcoming events include a marathon in February, a sprint triathlon in April and an olympic distance tri in May. Then I'm off to Switzerland! That may be my last race. I've had to have some long hard talks with myself about being realistic and facing reality. My body is deteriorating and as much as I hate to say it, I think Switzerland will be my last race. I hope it's not, but I need to be realistic about my health. if I'm not realistic, I might do more damage than good. It has been very  hard to accept that. I still don't think I've fully accepted it. I think I've said it out loud, but not really let it sink in, if that makes sense. If there is one thing other than my past experience that I mentioned above that gets me down more than anything, it's thinking about my deteriorating mobility. I get in a serious funk over that. So I think I'm trying to avoid accepting it entirely for that reason.

Anyway, I know this journey coming up is not going to be easy. And a lot of people ask why I'm doing it. I can't explain it verbally yet. I will be able to one day. But for now, support and encouragement without knowing the "why" would just be an amazing and kind thing to do. And if any of you have athletic pursuits while suffering through EDS, please let me know. I'd love to follow your journey. We're all struggling at the same time even if our struggles are all unique to our own bodies. Let's encourage and uplift instead of nay saying. I look forward to hearing any tips from any of you who train with EDS. Leave them in the comments! Can't wait to get to know some of you!

In closing, I just want to add that the last few years of my life have not been great. But I have a wonderful family. I have a husband who goes along with all my crazy ideas and encourages me to do all I can. I mean, running an IronMan with EDS? It probably isn't realistic. but who's my #1 cheerleader??? My amazing husband! So, yah, the past few years  have kind of sucked. But my birthday is in 5 days. i'll be leaving my 20s and entering my thirties and I couldn't be more excited! It's a  new decade and I have a great person by my side to go through it all with. It's going to be a great year.



M.

How I came to run a 7:36 minute mile.

This blog was never intended to be read. It has served as  a record of my progress, mostly. It started as a record of the journey of my mother and I from immobility to a half marathon. But I am still using it to record my journey since the journey of Ehlers-Danlos is never over. Anyway, I have invited some people to read the blog today, but before I begin that message I will continue as normal.

Weather: Great. mid 70s.
Pain level: very mild. Had some hip pain due to weather causing inflamed joints, but nothing I couldn't deal with.
Stress level: Through the roof. Had some unwelcomed information vomited on me today. For the first time ever I wished I was deaf and blind. Can't hear the info, can't read the text. But it was this distressing news that inspired my blog post and invite to others and also contributed to my awesome day.
Dislocations this week: Zero.

My kids had swim lessons (40 minutes long). With the 30 minutes I had, I decided to see if I could run a 5k in that time. Mile 1: 7:52, Mile 2: 8:03, Mile 3: 8:16. And I still feel great. About to put in a night's work! Normally after I do a fast run I'm beat for the night. But I still feel up to getting some work done tonight. (Best mile yet, 7:36).

********************

Now on to the blog post.

Chronic pain is a very lonely thing to experience. There is no one else that knows *exactly* what you are feeling. Pain can be so intense that it becomes all consuming. You have selfish thoughts and feelings about the sweet release that death would bring. Others get angry at these selfish thoughts and feelings as they do not understand that chronic pain can consume your entire being to the point that you are incapable of thinking of anything else. So of course we aren't thinking about you in that moment. The pain has taken all control of your mental faculties. It is unrealistic to think one could manage even the slightest concern for others.

I want to note that I have lost weight since this picture :) I sustained a significant injury that took me 8 months to heal from. I didn't do much running in that time :) 

In 2009 my husband and I decided to have a second child. For someone with Ehlers-Danlos, this means going to a geneticist, evaluating the possibility of passing along the EDS to baby, discussing options, blabbidy blee blabbidy bloo. . .  That meeting was pointless because I am pretty sure I went and did everything they told me not to do. They told me not to have another baby. Well, I decided that my first pregnancy wasn't so bad, so surely the second would be okay. It wasn't. And this was apparent as early as six weeks. At ten weeks they told me to abort the baby. Didn't do that either. Well, they told me a bunch of other stuff that I didn't really pay attention to. . . Geneticist bore me to death.

I was sick all day every day. I was put on zofran, an anti nausea that is often given to chemo-therapy patients. I had to go to my mom's for a month so she could take care of my son while I prayed to the porcelain gods day in and day out. I was keen on setting up camp in my mother's guest room. I think I had sufficiently marked it my territory. But I decided to return home at 18 weeks into the pregnancy as it felt cruel to keep my son from his father for so long. Upon returning I started to dislocate daily: knees, hips, shoulders, you name it. I was having trouble walking from about 14 weeks on, but had to resort to a cane at about 18 or 19 weeks. At this point I became high risk and had to go to the doctor every week. At one of these appointments I couldn't even get onto the doctor's table for my evaluation. I couldn't sit either. I could barely stand. I basically couldn't even stand being alive at that moment. The doctor put a pillow on the floor and I knelt on it on my knees and sat on feet. He then checked the heartbeat and did all the normal doctor visit stuff. I begged him to tie my tubes after baby was born. His response, "Well, I don't like to do that in women so young. They always regret it." I was 23 at this time.

So on I went trying to function and take care of a toddler. It was a well orchestrated daily routine of feed child, hurl, dislocate, change diapers, vomit again, pad de burre, chasse, step ball change, rinse and repeat!

 At twenty two weeks I had a weird pain in my abdomen. I called my high risk doctor and he had me poke around my abdomen and describe things to him. He said, "Call your husband at work. Tell him to drive you to the emergency room and tell the first person you see that you are 22 weeks pregnant and have appendicitis." FOR THE LOVE! Of course, my husband rode his bike to work that day. OF COURSE! So his co worker drove him home, then he drove me to the hospital, then I had an appendectomy. Awesome. Did I mention it was Halloween? And I missed my darling boy experience the first Halloween that he really knew what was going on? yah, good times. . .

Anyone with EDS knows that not moving around makes you more prone to dislocations and loose joints. So I had a few weeks of recovery where I didn't do much moving around. I was dislocating everything all the time. I tried to go to the arthritis classes at the gym. And the sweet little old people there would say, "Honey, I think you're in the wrong class." It got to the point where I couldn't even get to my high risk doctor's appointments! I couldn't walk to my car. I couldn't even walk to the bathroom. I couldn't take care of my kid. I had five REALLY good friends that took him each day of the week for a few weeks and then my husband would pick him up at the end of the day. I had a large body pillow that I put beside the bed. I would roll out of bed onto this pillow and pull myself with my arms to the bathroom.

I made it to my 32 week appointment. I begged the doctor to end it all and just take her out. He asked me when my mom was coming out to help me. I told him we were still two weeks away from her coming out. He said, "When she comes out, just lay in bed and cry for two weeks, then we'll take her out." Little did he know I HAD ALREADY BEEN DOING THAT FOR WEEKS!

Getting up off the floor or the couch was always a Herculean effort. I would get in a hands and knees position then pull myself up. I got in that position and then had a herniated disc. I got stuck in that position. I asked my son to go get my phone, but he didn't know where it was. I had to stay like like for hours until my husband got home. Toddler was hungry, needed a diaper change, crying and I couldn't do anything. I was just stuck.

The next week I dislocated my right hip. I couldn't get it back in place. It started to swell after three days. My doctor tried to put it back in and couldn't get it.

So we decided to have little miss Miriam. At this point, my doctor medically advised I have a tubal ligation. Yah, told you that twenty weeks ago, big guy.

I was still experiencing morning sickness. I threw up twice the day Miriam was born. And she was born at NOON! I didn't tell the doctors because they kept putting off the c-section thinking I would vomit during the procedure. They wanted to wait till later since according to their sound knowledge, morning sickness only occurs in the morning. Hmmmmm. . . .

I was given a spinal that felt like wild fire spreading through my body. It was a horrible feeling. Then they told me to lie on my back. First of all, lying on my back was a pain WORSE than childbirth with  my EDS and second, I was paralyzed from the waist down so I wasn't really sure how they wanted me to do that. Nurses assisted, and I howled like a banshee the whole time. They let my husband come in at this point. They don't let them in for the needle stuff because it makes them faint. haha! (They made him sign a piece of paper that said if he fainted during the delivery they were going to leave him on the floor because mom and baby are number 1). Anyway, I cried and howled through the whole delivery, which took 49 minutes. It was awful. I wanted them to knock me entirely out so badly, but they just wouldn't do it. EDS makes people feel pain more acutely and we do not respond very well to pain meds. I felt much of the procedure even though I had been given the spinal. I got the shakes from the meds and had to be tied down. It was the worst thing I ever felt. The procedure took so long because I had tons of scar tissue from my previous c section. They couldn't even get Miriam out because the scar tissue was so thick. They had to vacuum her out.

Once she was out, they proceeded with the tubal ligation. Not only did he cut the tubes, he cut out an inch of each one, burned the edges then buried the ends in my organs. He wanted to seal this deal! He put the one inch pieces of my fallopian tubes in a jar and showed them to me saying, "No more babies!" It was a little creepy, but it was a welcomed gesture meant to relieve my anxieties.

After I got home, I still experienced a lot of EDS problems. I would dislocate my knees every time I changed Miriam. I struggled with intense hip pain. On some days it was even too much to stand.

I returned to the arthritis classes so I could try to strengthen the muscle and tissue around my joints to keep them from dislocating. When that made me stronger, I decided to get a rehab physical therapist to teach me how far to go on the weight machines (with the flexibility of EDS, I can go ALLL the way on those strength training weight machines). The therapist showed me at what point to stop on all the machines. I used them regularly to build up my strength. One night I decided to start walking. I made it all the way around the block! I walked further distances until one day I decided to see if I could run. I ran all the way around the block. .2 miles. It took me about ten minutes! ha! I probably walked faster than I ran! I thought, If I can run around the block, surely I can run a half marathon! Hahaha. I tend to be a bit extreme when I decide to do something. . .

So I registered for my first half marathon which kept me working on running and focusing on my mobility. I ran the Dublin, Ireland Rock N Roll Half Marathon in 2:57. :)  My goal was to make it under three hours. My mom ran it with me. She also suffers from EDS. We decided to make it a huge deal and run it in Ireland because IT WAS A HUGE DEAL! I went from being immobile to running a half marathon!

I continue to improve since that time and feel more in control of my body than I ever have in my life. I have little to no joint pain. I have gone from dislocating daily to dislocating maybe once or twice a month. I can play with my kids. I can take care of my house! I can be around other people and care about them because my entire being is not consumed by chronic pain!

I am still working at it and improving each day! I can run a mile faster than I ever imagined. I can run for hours with ease and comfort. I hope to continue to work hard and improve. Ultimately, I have a goal of running in the NYC, Boston , London or any other Marathon Majors race! And, probably dreaming, but it would be super awesome to make Olympic Trial. So. . .  I'm just going to do it. Okay?

Another part of this running thing is that it helps me cope. My husband and I would have loved to bring more children into our loving home and family. I get sad often thinking of what great big siblings Josh and Miriam would be. It makes me frustrated and angry sometimes that my body can't do what it should naturally be able to do, what it was intended to do! Running helps me cope with the sadness of not being able to do what I want. Running puts me in charge of my body. EDS was in charge for a short time and took away from me the ability to have children. But I'm taking my body back!

I'm in charge now. I'm going to tell my body what we're going to do today instead of it telling me what it wants to do. So guess what, body? We're going to go to Olympic Trial in July 2016. Okay, body? Got it?! That's what we're going to do.

I've been in touch with Roanoke Valley Elite, a running club that trains professional competitive athletes. They like my story and think it will attract sponsors :) They are in a brief hiatus at the moment looking for a new chair person. Which is okay with me because it gives me more time to work on my qualifying times to get on their team.

Today's blog post is brought to you by the letters F and U. EFF YOU EDS! Consider my incredibly successful run this evening as a swift kick in the pants to you, EDS. A flip of the bird. I bight my thumb at you, EDS. You're no longer welcome to dwell in this body, Jerk.

New plan!

Okay, finally have a minute to write down my new plan. . . before I forget it.

Side note, before I forget this too, Be sure to tune in tomorrow for my humorous look at running post child bearing. :)

Okay, her goes.

5K
Nashville, TN, April 25, 2015
Savannah, GA Nov 2015

10K
Portland, OR May 17 2015 (for time to get in a higher corral at next event)
Las Vegas, NV Nov 2015 (for qual)

Half Marathon
Washington, DC Mar 14, 2015 (for time)
Philadelphia, PA Sept 2015 (for qual)

Full
Raleigh, NC Or Nashville, TN April 12 or 26, 2015 (for time)
Virginia Beach, VA September 6, 2015 (for qual)


I shouldn't do a half and a full in the same month. so I need to rework that one. But this is the plan so far.

In other news, I did intervals tonight (2) 4x 400s Not my best times, but it's the first night I've actually run in ten days since I injured my arch. Feeling pretty good, but I'm still being cautious.

Drill program

I'm sick :( And I didn't feel up to do anything today. But I did. TWICE! So today I started my drills. Here's the run down:

15 min jogging warm up

Skipping:
a) simple "school yard" skip at least 60 yards, then run back to the start and back the 60 yrds, then walk back to start
b) high knee skip at least 60 yards, run back to start then back again and walk back to start
c) long skipping. ugh. . . I can't figure this one out. Going to have to consult the coach on this one. . .
d) skip kicks (like the rockets) 60 yards, run out

Knees:
a) Flat foot march, 60 yards walk back to start
b) high knees, on toes, no skip 60 yards, walk back to start
c) Bounding, hopping forward (somehow this is in the knee category. . . )

Misc:
a) Foot shuffles, no knee lift 60 yards, jog and stride back
b) butt kicks, 60 yards, jog and stride back
c) Carrioca, latteral hip swivel, 60 yards one side, 60 yards the other sides run/walk back
d) hip thrust: with back flat on ground, shoulders down, knees up, thrust hip upward. Put fingers in back of shoes to make sure your feet are far enough back

Birddog:
a) shoulders over hands, hips over knees, extend opposite leg and arm 30x3
b) hold extended position for 1 second 30 x 3

Planking
1) on forearms
a) neutral, 10 sec
b) rotate on left arm, 10 sec
c) neutral, 10 sec
d) rotate to right arm, 10 sec
3) neutral, 10 sec
repeat two more times with 30 seconds rest in between each rep

2) on hands
a) neutral, 10 sec
b) rotate on left arm, 10 sec
c) neutral, 10 sec
d) rotate to right arm, 10 sec
3) neutral, 10 sec
repeat two more times with 30 seconds rest in between each rep

Did that this morning. Took one hour and thirty minutes. Then I ran this evening, but only 2 miles. I am not feeling really great. I have a cold or something. Some kind of throat thing.


Overall, it's been an extremely busy week. My business is getting a credit the Land of Nod catalog this fall. So I hired a bunch of people to handle that load. Then I was given a $1,000 ad credit on houzz.com. So I hired three more people this week to handle that load. I'm going to add two more. I have one in mind. I've been talking to my husband's cousin's wife about sewing recently. But then I'll need another person.

I used to train each seamstress in person. But my husband and I made training videos on everything we make. It's taken months! So I just send a person materials to make a shade, give them some specs and then they ship it back for notes. When I approve I send them supplies and add them to the list of people my assistant can issue orders too and there we go! That's the easy part, though. I've spent the past two days setting them up, which is the hard and time consuming part. But it's all worth it in the end. For everyone :)

My husband has started running too. We've both been talking lately about how our lifestyle is so different now. We used to want the house, the car, etc. I used to enjoy decorating and keeping a garden. Our lifestyle doesn't really include any of those things any more and even our small house feels burdonsome. We've been talking about making BIG changes. It won't be for a year or two and may in fact just be fun conversation. But we have been talking about BIG lifestyle changes. I'll clue you in as things become more concrete.

Me Vs The Wind

. . .  the wind won :(

Today: Weather started sweltering even at 78 degrees. Just so humid! Then cooled off with some cloud cover. With the cloud cover came the wind (we're expecting some weather activity today). I felt great today. No EDS pains, really, except the usual feet issues (plantar's Fasciitis and flat feet pains). Back still hurts a little from the long run, but nothing I couldn't stretch my way out of. I've successfully been without caffienne for about a week now, so I have been waking up feeling really refreshed! It's nice. but I do miss coke :( and I still have mystery abdominal pain. Now it's kind of dull and relentless, whereas before it was cramp like with occasional relief. I don't have an appendix anymore so not sure what else it could be. It's not GI.  Mystery! I need Dr. House!

Today we were going to do a tempo run with Garren setting the pace at 8 miles per hour. We got the bike trailer hooked up to the bike for the kids. Just as we were getting ready to leave Josh got sick. So we set him up on the couch with blankets, towels, a trash can and a movie. Garren helped me get a feel for what an 8 mph pace was by just running up and down the street with me so we would be in shouting distance of Josh if he needed us. And Miriam still wanted to go for a bike ride. So we just went up and down the street a few times. Turns out that pace is pretty wicked. I did okay for less than 1/4  mile. I chalked it up to needing a warm up. So I tried to run first and then have Garren catch up to me and we would start the timer and pace mid run instead of starting and then working up to 8 mph pace. So we tried that for a bit but the best I could do and keep going for any amount of time was 9 mph. Then I was at 7 mph going up hill :( Got lots of work to do. After we did that for a bit Garren took Miriam around the block a few more times in the trailer and I went to the track to do four sets of 4x400s. I was successfull at getting most of those under two minutes. The weather got worse and worse as my time at the track went on. I went from running 1:50 400s to 2:58 when I was running against the wind. Some of that, too, was likely that I was tired because I was on my last set. But I'm pretty sure the last sset did nearly nothing for improvement.

Total work out time 2:50:00. I have to work out AT LEAST three hours a day to reach my goals. This is going to be tough. Pretty much I am replacing my work life with this. But at least I get to do this with my family. After Miriam and Garren stopped riding bikes they came to the track with me. Miriam, Garren and di d 2 x 400s together. Miriam is FAST. Then we did a few 100 m runs with Miriam because she is super good at those. She's hard to keep up with. She turns her head and looks at me like, what are you doing back there? She likes swimming and gymnastics and asks me to turn on olympic swimming youtube videos all the time.

Hopefully Josh will feel up to coming out to the track with us again soon.

Update on nutrition: I've got the hang of the marathon runners diet. But I veer every once in a while when my kids want to make cakes and cookies :) I never pass up an opportunity to bake with my children. It's one of my favorite things to do with them :) But I've got the hang of it now and doing really well. It isn't really a struggle anymore. Increasing the amount of berries and high water content foods has helped enormously to make me feel hydrated without having to go to the bathroom every five miles. Lots of watermelon!

My muscles are getting to be really defined, You can see my muscle now when I am not flexing. I can just hear my Grandma Joyce saying, "That's not very ladylike, but that's none of my business. . . ." :) It's kind of fun to watch the transition and actually see results of hard work.

Tomorrow both kids are in school. I need to look at my training program and see what's on the agenda. but I think it might be a strength day.

Happy Labor Day!

"Run a Ragnar Relay," they said. "It will be fun," they said.

Flash Back Friday: Ragnar 2014, West Virginia Appalachians! It rained and poured constantly. But it was amazing.

Campsite. Something wicked this way comes, I believe was the original caption of this photo.

Sleep? The question mark was appropriately placed.

Me and high school friend, Adam. I hold him responsible for making me into a Ragnar Junkie.

After a downpour. you can see the mud churned up.

You can see the trail churned up here, too. This is the beginning of the trail right out of the transition tent.

Our campsite during a downpour.

Campsite after the downpour. It stayed like this the rest of the time we were there.

Team mates! Best team ever! We had such a great time! We had to hold down our canopy after we watch several tumble down the road beside us in the storm. We also had to relieve the canopy of the water it was holding by pushing up on it from underneath. Adam, TWICE, did this while I happen to be walking underneath the border of the canopy to get underneath it. I was wet the ENTIRE time. So was everyone else, though. Good times.

And all for the medal! It's a great medal!

Back to the present :) Bought new shoes today. You can see an image of them on my instagram! Yep, I got an instagram. I've never cared to have one before because. . . I guess just because I don't live my life on the Internet. But it makes uploading things to the twitter (@MelRunTheWorld) a lot easier. It is a lot easier to keep followers up to date on the latest training, products, etc. My instagram is also MelRunTheWorld.

Anywho, I got Under Armour Speedform. They are amazing! I wanted something designed for forefoot strike and this was pretty much the only one available. 90% of shoes are made for heal striking. I'm telling you, forefoot striking is the best way to go. Since I have switched I haven't run a single mile below 10:30. (I still have to stop and walk sometimes on my long runs. . . so that messes up my time a little bit. But when I am actually running I've been averaging 9 minute miles. It's the way to go.

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So I got these shoes today. And to break them in I did a ten mile run tonight. It took me two hours, but at least the shoes are ready to train in. My ONLY complaint about them is that there is NO arch support. But the thing I LOVE LOVE LOVE about them is that they make leaning forward feel natural instead of forced. I love them. But the arch support is going to be an issue since I have flat feet. So I need to figure out what to do about that pronto! 

Today's run was great. It felt natural and it felt effortless. I didn't feel totally worn out at ten miles, but I feared blisters since the shoes were new. So I called ten miles good enough for one day. Plus my husband wanted to go to a football game tonight, so I couldn't stay out all night. he eve came home early so I could do my run! Marathon training is truly a family affair.

The run. . .  After 1.5 miles I felt a pull in the arch of my foot. I pulled off to the very inner lane of the track to slow down. I starting crying because I felt defeated. But then I had the thought that since I was doing my long run tonight I didn't technically have to run again till Monday. I had planned to do a tempo run with my husband as my pace setter tomorrow, but I don't absolutely have to. So I decided to keep knowing knowing I could take the weekend to recover. I took a moment and stretched it out. I cried out of frustration and pain again. But then I got to running and didn't even feel it anymore. I didn't feel it again until mile 8. And even then it wasn't severe pain. It was just a dull little pull feeling. Kind of cramp like. Nothing I couldn't run through. So I finished and then went home to eat bananas and read bedtime stories to my kids. I got a little emotional when I got home too because I had really decided to just call it a day after I felt that pain. And then I ran another 8.5 miles after I had decided that! I felt like I conquered! Mind over matter! I did it! And I feel great. 

Now it's time for some lounging, drinking kool aid and catching up on True Blood :) I should clean up my house from the fun fay I had with my daughter (who hasn't started school yet). But lying on the couch is going to win this time around.

A surprise!

Today's weather: awful and rainy. Joints reminded me of this all day. Thank you joints for keeping me informed. But I ran anyway. I was surprised. I will preface this by saying that i have slept a total of 8 hours in the past two nights and am starting to really feel it today. I went into this run very tired. I did a couple of practice laps to practice my forefoot strike. Man, it is so hard for me to get that just right since I've been running without doing it all this time. After a few practice laps I started running. My joints were achy, I was sweating profusely for some reason after only a short distance and I felt like I was gong slower than molasses.

One thing I REALLY need to get over is that I tend to not even finish a run at the point I realize I'm not going to meet my goal. I realized today I wasn't going to meet my 10K goal at the 6thK. I was already at 41 minutes. I told myself I needed to finish anyway. When I got to 8 k I was at 52 minutes. Then I realized I did my math wrong at 6k and I totally could have finished in an hour! But I let myself get down about not reaching my goal and I slowed my speed because of that. I really need to get over that. And pronto! That, or get better at math :) I was so surprised at the end of my ran that i was actually running at my goal speed even though it felt like I was trudging through molasses. I think (I HOPE) this means I got my forefoot strike down. I think my legs have been sore as I have been trying to use the different method of running and I was just feeling tired. But the proper running style helped me maintain my speed! What a great day! Then I picked up my kids at child watch and ran a half mile with them on the track. They are freaking fast. I couldn't keep up (really. I wasn't just being nice and letting them win).

In other news: I registered my husband and I for the Tinker Bell Half Marathon in May at Disneyland! It will be his first big race! "Find your inner pixie" they tell him in the confirmation email. hahaha. I'm sure he's going to love that! Later this week I will be registering my family for the family 5k run so that my kids can do a race as well. :) We did that one as a family in January and it was the neatest experience.

Short term goals modified:
1) 10k in an hour
2) teach my kids good running posture and correct style.

As for nutrition, nailed it today! I hope to be able to keep it up!

Tomorrow is conditioning day. Woo hoo. . .  Haven't heard back yet from the Roanoke Elite Athletes Club yet. Maybe later this week. We'll be running as a family now in the evenings and on Saturday's so my husband can get ready for his race too!

Super Sad about Robin Williams today, too. Super Duper sad. I felt like I understood him. I have been so depressed that death sounded as nice and peaceful as a vacation sounds to some people. A drink, maybe. A good book. a long hike. Or whatever makes you think of pure R and R. I would put my head on my pillow and think that death sounded nice and peaceful. That was just in recent years, but I no longer associate with the people who made me not able to live in my own mind. And I am okay now. I actually started running around the time this was happening and found that it helped me cope with the grief these two individuals had put me through. But when I heard he had committed suicide all I could think about was the time when there was so much going on in my mind that I could't live with in there. I couldn't exist as a human being with what was in there, and for a while I wasn't! I was a robot! I hope he has found peace from whatever was plaguing his mind. I was able to find my peace, but it took 2 and a half years. Two and a half years of utter sadness, disappointment, damage, you name it. But I finally found my peace. I kept waiting for these individuals to accept responsibility and thought that was the only way I would find my peace. but I found it through my Savior, Jesus Christ, and through making healthy changes to my life like running. I do feel sad for the families of people who don't understand what it's like to live in a mind plagued by obsessive thoughts that are out of control. But I myself can understand the ones who hurt themselves. I'm not saying it's okay or that it's right. I'm just saying that I know. And I hope he has peace now. I didn't think I'd ever live another day with peace in my mind and in my heart. And I do now every day. But it took a long time and I did a lot of damage along the way.

Joining a team!

I've decided to step it up. I have inquired with the Roanoke Elite Athletes team to see what is required to join!

I have set a limit for myself requiring myself to be able to run 8 minute miles before I start investing in this. Today I ran one mile at 9:48, then the mile after that was 9:18 and I ran them comfortably! I could have kept going but it started raining and all the possums and racoons came out. . .  I'm not gonna mess around with them. . . . I set this goal for myself because it is very possible that with my joint disorder it may be physically impossible for me to do faster miles. So I need to first see if it is physically possible before I spend money to get better at it. Tomorrow my goal is to run a 10 k in 58 minutes. I get better and better each day! It's amazing!

Current Long Term Goal:
1) Qualify for Boston and/or NYC marathons

Current OUTRAGEOUS long term goal:
1) Qualify for Olympic National Trial (hey, shoot for the moon, right?)

Current short term goal:
1) Run a 10K in 58 minutes
2) Master the forefoot strike
3) Figure out this runners diet!
4) Find a nutritionist

Current Struggles:
1) Runners diet while also managing Hypoglycemia and extremely low blood pressure
2) left foot giving me a little grief. Twingy.

Triumphs:
1) Psoas muscle doesn't feel weak anymore. I didn't even think about on today's run at all.
2) Miles feeling super comfortable below ten minutes.
3) Ran a quarter mile at a six minute per mile pace. . .  then wanted to die. . . . but still triumphant in my book!

Here's to ending a good training day! Hopefully tomorrow I'll be a little better about the diet. . .  Today I was washing 1 cup of blueberries for a snack and thought a brownie was a good snack to munch on while washing my blueberries. :) Discipline, Melissa. Discipline!