Flashback Friday to lots of November 17ths

 

So, three years I go I took my nursing school entrance exam! Sweet, naive Melissa. . . . I do believe this is a good path for me. I don’t know what else I’d do. Interior design wasn’t going to work out because WTBM wore me out dealing with customers. I lost all my patience. And Fashion Design wouldn’t have worked out either because there are no jobs here for that. So nursing it is! I hope going into nursing will allow me to do those other things though. I’d like to finish my Interior Design and Fashion Design degrees and I think nursing will let me do that. I also want to get the culinary associates :) hee hee. So many things to do!

4 years ago I ran this half marathon in Las Vegas.. It was a few weeks after Cyndie had died. I remember I was supposed to go with Trena. We had booked a hotel room at the Luxor. But it didn’t work out for her to go. I think it was meant to be that way because then Garren went with me and since it was after Cyndie’s death it was just meant to be.  

This one is fun. I drove my kids to school then drove to the airport, hopped on a plane to Los Angeles, got a rental car, drove to San Diego, picked up Ashley at her house, went to a Bastille concert, took Ashley home, drove back to the airport, flew home, drove home, picked up my kids from school (the next day) and went home and crashed! SO FUN!!! We had a blast!

Soooooo this one hurts. There is actually a lot of pain behind this picture. Garren bought me a harp for my birthday. I was so excited as I had wanted a harp for a while. I messed around with it most of the day and could pluck out a few tunes by the end of the day. I made a video and posted it on Facebook. Then I got an email from Garren’s sister saying, “I’m glad you got your harp!” Then it was immediately followed by something along the lines of “I’m not going to work for you anymore, I will be sending all your supplies and unfinished orders back. . .  BUT I’ll be keeping all the money you prepaid me for orders!” (The last part wasn’t included, but that’s what happened). I can’t even tell you how I felt in that moment. I am tearing up now just recalling it. This was the worst day of my life. The pain they caused me cannot be expressed in words. If I had been anyone else they wouldn’t have done that. If they had worked as seamstresses in a window treatments business for someone that wasn’t their sister they would not have done this. So why me? Why do this to someone who helped you in a time of need? This was our busy season for work as everyone is decorating for the holidays. They sent back unfinished orders that needed to go out before Thanksgiving which was the following week. I actually had people from church that stepped into make up for them. They should be embarrassed about that. Thankfully the people from church didn’t expect payment because I had already paid them in advance for this work and they were not going to pay it back. This was also my first holiday season with Miriam and all I can remember of it is this pain and working 20 hours a day to make up for their shortcomings. To this day one of the sisters has never acknowledged any wrong doing. The most I’ve heard from the other is “There was wrong on both sides.” They did wrong by me then and are still not right by me. I try to forget and move on, but this event was so significant that I can’t forget it. It was cruel and hateful. It caused me more pain than I have ever experienced in my life (oh, yes, I did mention my sister dying. Nope, this event has impacted the course of my life more so than my sister’s death). While I was working 20 hours a day trying to get their orders out on time as well as mine, I was writing out checks for my other seamstresses and I remember thinking something was wrong when I couldn’t remember how to write one of my seamstress’s names. I was trying to write a J and I couldn’t remember how. I called Garren and told him he needed to come home from work and stay with the kids. I drove myself to the emergency room (very slowly, like 20 miles an hour because I wasn’t all there cognitively). I got in and told them I thought I was having a stoke. They brought me into triage and asked me several questions. I remember being able to tell that they were talking, but not being able to make sense of what they said—kind of like the Charlie Brown teacher. They immediately got me back fro a CT, but it didn’t show anything. They said I was probably having a nervous breakdown from stress. Oh, how I wish I could have sent his sisters the bill for that ER visit. 

The cruelty of their actions haunts me to this day. It was personal. Like I said, had I been anyone else they would have sucked it up and finished their work then quit. Not sent back unfinished orders during the busiest time of year. And during a time when I should have been enjoying my daughter’s first Christmas. I don’t recall anything of her first Christmas. And I hate them for that. The cruelty of it all. . .  Unimaginable. The only comfort I get from this is knowing I would never do to anyone what they did to me. One of the sisters even behaved this way toward Garren earlier this year when he was doing his mom’s estate. She blew up at him over the estate stuff and it really hurt Garren. He even brought it up the other day and it’s been almost 6 months since it happened. The reason it is so impactful when they behave like this is because it’s not a brother/sister tiff: it’s a disrespectful jab at what we chose to do with our lives. It is an insult to our work, our profession. Brother/sister tiffs are generally forgivable. But insulting what someone has chosen to do for their career is just cruel. It’s personal and it hurts. I don’t think I will ever get over this. It haunts me. How on earth someone could treat another human the way they treated me is something I will never understand. I can’t put those puzzle pieces together. I gave them work in a time of need and they stabbed me in the back. 

I have not played this harp in years. I joined a little Harp Circle in Virginia for a while and played with it then, but it just reminds me of this day and that stupid email: “I’m glad you got your harp!” I am working on not letting things like that ruin things for me that could add to my life. So I do plan to pick it up again soon. Possibly over the summer when I am on a break from school. I am working in therapy on disconnecting things from events. So hopefully I will be in a good place this next summer and I can enjoy the music again! Maybe even teach Miriam! I just don’t want to hold on to this anymore. They did wrong by me and have never made it right. I know I can’t expect that of someone, but they should. I’m their sister. They hurt me. Why is it so hard for someone just to say they’re sorry? That would do so much for me just to hear those words. I am working in therapy on accepting that those words will never come. But it’s hard because whenever I interact with them I know that if something ever happened between us again they wouldn’t accept responsibility. Nothing is ever their fault. So I avoid interactions with them altogether. They want to have a family reunion next summer and I don’t want to go. I don’t want to spend time with people that could do what they did. Ugh! Okay, I need to stop writing about it because I’m going to a bad place. I must still care for them in some way though, because deep down, I would never wish them to feel the pain that I have felt as a result of their actions. I wouldn’t wish that pain on anyone. Ever. I just wanted to be a part of them. I wanted to do something great with them. And it could have been great. They were so talented! But they took some things personally and took offense where none was intended. We could have made a really cool thing together. I just wanted to be a part of the family. Well, I did go on to make something incredible. Just did it with other amazing, talented women. I guess this experience did do that for me. it led me to the most incredible group of women. In my time leading WTBM I employed 26 people. When this happened, that was the worst time of my life. What it led me to became the best years of my life. And that business I created and most of those amazing women are still with the company! One of them that is still with the company was one that stepped in to finish some of the sister’s orders when they sent them back to me unfinished! She offered to help me in my time of need and it ended up being a good fit for her and has blessed her family for more than a decade! Her husband has lost his job a few times over the years and we were able to keep them afloat with the income from the business. Such neat experiences in the business that I will cherish forever. So while their actions were cruel and painful and continue to cause me pain to think about, it led me to some beautiful women that gave me the experience of a lifetime!!

Flashback Friday! WTBM and Kelsie’s Kitchen.

 I know it’s Sunday.  . .  Last week had two rather big events so I am behind. 

About this time in 2018 (now about 5 years ago) a woman name Kelsie Nixon reached out to me on Etsy so ask if I would create a window treatment for the set of her kitchen on the food network! Her show was called Kelsie’s Kitchen. Of course I accepted! At the time we were the highest ranking window treatments provider on Etsy. I had the most sales and most 5 star reviews. It was an absolute honor to participate in this project and I am still very proud of it!

I sold the business in December of 2019. It was very satisfying to create a successful business from the ground up. I employed many people over the years. This is just one of many public successes we had. Some others include being in HGTV magazine, having window treatments in episodes of House Hunters and Buying and Selling. . .  My proudest achievement, though. . . . I never once in ten years took out a line of credit or had a business credit card! The business could always pay for everything from business funds! 

Every once in a while I think I miss it. But then Ashley writes me about something dumb someone is complaining about and then I remember what a depleting, soul-sucking responsibility it is to be a business owner. You’re the only one with all the answers, have to be available at all times. . . .I was good at it, but it I didn’t want that life anymore. So I sold it and now here I am! I am very proud of what I built though. (And Garren . .  I built this with Garren. He was very instrumental behind the scenes). The business is still running strong today and with many of the original seamstresses. They are who I miss the most. I wouldn’t be anything without them. They built my products better than I did! Amazing, talented women they are. I will hold them in a special place in my heart forever. I wasn’t always the most pleasant person to work for, but they stuck it out with me. I’m forever grateful to them for that.

Took a break to catch up on life.

Hello, everyone! I took a break for several reasons. The biggest one is because the next race that I am going to sign up for is ALL I want to talk about, but I didn't want to talk about it until I knew for sure it was going to happen. But as of today, I've save up enough of my pennies to buy my plane tickets for my family and I to go to. . .  Switzerland for the IronMan 70.3 in June next year!

Here's a little about what I've been doing in preparation for this:

1) RACING!
Race! Race! Race! Running keeps me from dislocating. I can't explain it. it doesn't make much sense to me yet. but it keeps me in one piece! I found a great group on Facebook for Athletes with EDS. It's such a wonderful and encouraging environment as opposed to the regular EDS FB group where people complain a lot.

I've done a few races since I last posted, but my most recent was Ragnar Tennessee!

This is me and teammate, Jessica before my first leg. It was a cold TN morning, but the smoky mountains were beautiful!

 This is Adam explaining things to me because this was my first road Ragnar. I had only done a trail Ragnar previously. Adam is responsible for making me a Ragnar Junky :) 

*All the best start at 5 am, in my opinion. . . .

Ragnar Medals!  Every teammate'a medal has a piece of this "puzzle." Together they say "Together we ran 200-ish miles." :) I believe is t was 194.6 from Chattanooga to Nashville.

We  used my van for van 1. Each team has two vans and six runners.

We wrote our names on the window and checked off each leg as we finished it.

All you have to do is go on  a long run with someone and you'll learn their reason for running. 

I don't think anyone I ran with ran because "running is fun." Everyone has a different reason for running. I loved this race and loved meeting so many wonderful people. they are a great addition to my life and I am grateful for them. I am grateful for the experience. Though I will admit, it was brutal. I don't know if I can physically do another one. But I can certainly try. I had a difficult time on my last leg in this race having dislocated my knee. My teammates were so kind and encouraging. They cheered me on from the van and reminded me that all they cared about was finishing and not time. They were very kind. It was a good group!

2) Therapy:
I've been in therapy for the past few months. I have Obsessive Dominant Disorder. It's Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, but I don't struggle with the compulsions as much. I am unable to control how much I obsess about one particular thought. I think about it till I have made myself sick. This happens when I start to feel stressed. And when do I feel stressed?? When my life feels like it's out of my control! When does my life feel like it's out of my control?? Every time I can tell my EDS is progressing. So. . .  EVERYDAY! I tend to hyper focus on the worst even of my life. So I have been in therapy for it. And I think I found a doctor that is just the right match for me. I've been to two other doctors in the past for my OCD. But this one is a perfect match for me. She has been so helpful to me!

My birthday is in five days. Four years ago on my birthday the worst even of my life happened. I was betrayed and hurt by two family members. This made my OCD the worst it has ever been in my life. I did and said things that "weren't me." I definitely wasn't myself. I have been spending the past four years trying to show these people that that wasn't me and that I am in fact a kind and generous person. I am very loving and I care very deeply for everyone in my life. My OCD makes me someone I'm not. My therapist has been helping understand that what happened to me was awful and my verbal responses are something I have to live with and make room for in myself because I can't take them back, She is helping me make room for the extreme discomfort I  feel when I think about the horrible things I said. On the other hand, she is also helping me to not obsess over making it up to them because she understands, and agrees, that what these people did to me was a horrible heinous crime and how human beings could treat other human beings that way is just beyond us all. So she has been helping me try to stop feeling the need to show these people who don't deserve anything from me that I am actually a good person. I've been hyperfocusing on that one day of my life when I have 29 years of goodness around that one day. They don't deserve to be a part of my life. They were cruel and horrible to me and I am slowly learning to accept it. They are not right with me and my mind has a hard time being at peace with that. I often hope that at that special time and place when they are asked if they "right with their fellow man" that they will think of me, because they aren't. My mind starts to obsess with making the pieces fit together like a puzzle. When they don't fit together, I think about it over and over and over trying to force it all to fit. Trying to think of why they would abandon me during our busiest time which they were fully and completely aware of. Why they would keep money for work they didn't do. Why they would do this to me on my birthday. What kind of a person does that to another human being? It's cruel. Its' hateful. What they did was not okay and is still not right with me. It has been four years, but no single event in my life has affect me and my family so much as this one. So when I start to get stressed out or start to get frustrated over my progressing decline in health, my mind immediately turns to that incident. I have been very fortunate to find a doctor that I am making great success with, but the road is long. I remain diligent in my treatment with her, but it is a constant battle. I am constantly fighting with my thoughts and battling them and it is exhausting. But I am in a much better place now. She is teaching me to be committed to forgiveness.I know it's working because my other fears have started coming to my mind lately when I get stressed, not just this single event. More on that another day if there are any other EDS readers out there who struggle with OCD and want to chat about it. . .

Basically, I've been trying to get this "mind, body, spirit" thing figured out and I wanted to get my mind in a healthy place so I could be at my best for next years race season. I'm feeling really good overall these days. I'm still working on things and still struggle with my thoughts. It will be that way for a while. But I am so much better now than before. I don't get sick over the obsessions anymore.

3) Surgery
I had surgery in August. I had to have a uterine oblation. With EDS being a tissue disorder, it's no surprise that the various organs in my body are fighting against me. I was going to go with the partial hysterectomy, but my doctor advised we go this route first. I am pleased so far.

I have an intolerance to pain meds? Any of you EDSers like that?

6 hours post op. Doing work emails :)

24 hours post op. Walked 1/4 mile!

Then three weeks later, I ran the Rock N Roll Virginia Beach Half Marathon!

So, suck on that, EDS!

4) Working
Work has been going so well. I just hired my 20th seamstress! This team is getting out of control! Luckily, I have a great assistant who can manage all these people! For any new readers,  I own and operate a custom window treatments business. It has been wildly successful! We are now on Amazon Handmade. Still getting inventory in there, but you can check us out here. And we're finally getting our snazzy new website. In anticipation of an influx in orders I've been hiring everyone who asks for a job :) So hopefully this all works out! ha!


Where I'm going:

Upcoming events include a marathon in February, a sprint triathlon in April and an olympic distance tri in May. Then I'm off to Switzerland! That may be my last race. I've had to have some long hard talks with myself about being realistic and facing reality. My body is deteriorating and as much as I hate to say it, I think Switzerland will be my last race. I hope it's not, but I need to be realistic about my health. if I'm not realistic, I might do more damage than good. It has been very  hard to accept that. I still don't think I've fully accepted it. I think I've said it out loud, but not really let it sink in, if that makes sense. If there is one thing other than my past experience that I mentioned above that gets me down more than anything, it's thinking about my deteriorating mobility. I get in a serious funk over that. So I think I'm trying to avoid accepting it entirely for that reason.

Anyway, I know this journey coming up is not going to be easy. And a lot of people ask why I'm doing it. I can't explain it verbally yet. I will be able to one day. But for now, support and encouragement without knowing the "why" would just be an amazing and kind thing to do. And if any of you have athletic pursuits while suffering through EDS, please let me know. I'd love to follow your journey. We're all struggling at the same time even if our struggles are all unique to our own bodies. Let's encourage and uplift instead of nay saying. I look forward to hearing any tips from any of you who train with EDS. Leave them in the comments! Can't wait to get to know some of you!

In closing, I just want to add that the last few years of my life have not been great. But I have a wonderful family. I have a husband who goes along with all my crazy ideas and encourages me to do all I can. I mean, running an IronMan with EDS? It probably isn't realistic. but who's my #1 cheerleader??? My amazing husband! So, yah, the past few years  have kind of sucked. But my birthday is in 5 days. i'll be leaving my 20s and entering my thirties and I couldn't be more excited! It's a  new decade and I have a great person by my side to go through it all with. It's going to be a great year.



M.

Drill program

I'm sick :( And I didn't feel up to do anything today. But I did. TWICE! So today I started my drills. Here's the run down:

15 min jogging warm up

Skipping:
a) simple "school yard" skip at least 60 yards, then run back to the start and back the 60 yrds, then walk back to start
b) high knee skip at least 60 yards, run back to start then back again and walk back to start
c) long skipping. ugh. . . I can't figure this one out. Going to have to consult the coach on this one. . .
d) skip kicks (like the rockets) 60 yards, run out

Knees:
a) Flat foot march, 60 yards walk back to start
b) high knees, on toes, no skip 60 yards, walk back to start
c) Bounding, hopping forward (somehow this is in the knee category. . . )

Misc:
a) Foot shuffles, no knee lift 60 yards, jog and stride back
b) butt kicks, 60 yards, jog and stride back
c) Carrioca, latteral hip swivel, 60 yards one side, 60 yards the other sides run/walk back
d) hip thrust: with back flat on ground, shoulders down, knees up, thrust hip upward. Put fingers in back of shoes to make sure your feet are far enough back

Birddog:
a) shoulders over hands, hips over knees, extend opposite leg and arm 30x3
b) hold extended position for 1 second 30 x 3

Planking
1) on forearms
a) neutral, 10 sec
b) rotate on left arm, 10 sec
c) neutral, 10 sec
d) rotate to right arm, 10 sec
3) neutral, 10 sec
repeat two more times with 30 seconds rest in between each rep

2) on hands
a) neutral, 10 sec
b) rotate on left arm, 10 sec
c) neutral, 10 sec
d) rotate to right arm, 10 sec
3) neutral, 10 sec
repeat two more times with 30 seconds rest in between each rep

Did that this morning. Took one hour and thirty minutes. Then I ran this evening, but only 2 miles. I am not feeling really great. I have a cold or something. Some kind of throat thing.


Overall, it's been an extremely busy week. My business is getting a credit the Land of Nod catalog this fall. So I hired a bunch of people to handle that load. Then I was given a $1,000 ad credit on houzz.com. So I hired three more people this week to handle that load. I'm going to add two more. I have one in mind. I've been talking to my husband's cousin's wife about sewing recently. But then I'll need another person.

I used to train each seamstress in person. But my husband and I made training videos on everything we make. It's taken months! So I just send a person materials to make a shade, give them some specs and then they ship it back for notes. When I approve I send them supplies and add them to the list of people my assistant can issue orders too and there we go! That's the easy part, though. I've spent the past two days setting them up, which is the hard and time consuming part. But it's all worth it in the end. For everyone :)

My husband has started running too. We've both been talking lately about how our lifestyle is so different now. We used to want the house, the car, etc. I used to enjoy decorating and keeping a garden. Our lifestyle doesn't really include any of those things any more and even our small house feels burdonsome. We've been talking about making BIG changes. It won't be for a year or two and may in fact just be fun conversation. But we have been talking about BIG lifestyle changes. I'll clue you in as things become more concrete.

A lot has changed in the last 24 hrs

First things first, today's run:
Short run because I have lots of work to do tonight. I originally didn't have lots of work to do, but a few things have popped up so now I have a lot to do.
Ran 5k, lovely weather, just perfect. Wished I could have stayed out longer. My calves are killing me from yesterday's run, but once I get moving I don't even feel it.
My mystery abdominal pain is lessening. So I may not go to my doctor.
No EDS pain today except in my fingers, but there isn't a whole lot I can do about that.


Okie dokie. So did my research on the NYC marathon. If I want to use that as my olympic trial marathon I have to run a marathon before Dec 31, 2014. And even then, it isn't guaranteed I'll get in. They've already excepted all they're competitors and are now onto charity runners and "regular people." The latter two gets selected by lottery. But I just think if it's meant to be then I'll get chosen. If I don't then this wasn't my year. But anywho, I found a few races later in the year. I have decided to run the Richmond, VA marathon for my qual race on Nov 15th. I'm a tad nervous because my current program is structured for the race to happen the first week of January. So I am not sure if it's going to work out. But I am at least going to give it a try.

So tonight I have to make three more training videos because I'm about to hand off all my work to someone else. (I hired three people last week. I might hire two more, but I can't think about that right now :)). I am up back up to eleven subcontractors and I think managing them is going to be quite enough without any of the construction end of the business in my hands.

There was another race later in November, but it didn't work out with my social life ;) My birthday has become a very sad occasion for me ever since my 2011 birthday. Something happened that day that has just tainted my birthday for me. It is no longer a happy day, but a day of grief and great personal sadness. I have forgiven those who hurt me on that day, but they still have not accepted responsibility or even acknowledged how much they hurt me. Even though my birthday (Nov 16th) is still two and a half months away, even thinking about it coming up gives me so much anxiety. I hate it now. I don't even want it to come. My sister knows how much this hurts me. So I am flying out to her in San Diego and she is taking me to the Bastille concert to celebrate my birthday! I wouldn't have it any other way! I have a hard time spending my birthday with my husband because it was his family that hurt me. And he knows what they did and knows how much it hurt and is fine with me celebrating my birthday with my sister.

So anyway, I will be leaving for that early morning Wednesday, the concert is Wednesday night, then my sister takes me back to the airport after the concert. it's going to be the best 16 hours ever! haha! But that's two days out of training. So the end of November races are out for me. The Richmond one is perfect because it's the day before my birthday. So I'll have plenty of distraction from my sadness. And we used to live near Richmond. So I am hoping that on my birthday (Sun the 16th) that we'll be able to take our kids to where we lived for Joshua's first year. I think that would be a fun way to spend the day. Plenty of distraction. Hopefully see old friends. Maybe we'll even go to church in the Bennetts Creek Ward!

I do think running on the 15th of Nov will work out even though it doesn't necessarily work with my current training plan. I think I have a lot of anxiety and a lot of grief I'm still dealing with as my birthday approaches that I will be able to work out in these intense training sessions. Put those feelings to good use!

On Saturday I will be running a tempo race. My husband is going to ride his bike (with kids in the trailer) at a speed of 8 miles per hour and I am going to run behind him. Hoping to do that for a 10k. I won't stop until I've done 5k, but I'm hoping to hold out through 10k.

I am looking into getting a personal trainer to help me with my form and strengthening my core muscles. I'm a wimp when it comes to my core. After two c sections and an appendectomy I have an intense fear of splitting open and having all my inside fall out of me. I've gotten better and have been doing tons of core workout lately. But I'm pretty sure it isn't enough for what I am about to put my body through. Have to step it up. At that point, I'll be making more detailed records of exactly what I'm doing. Follow my twitter @MelRunTheWorld. And I'll be getting an instagram soon since I just figured out what that is. haha! And I guess it goes together if you want to have a twitter and post images or something. I don't know. I'm so dumb at the Internet.

Peace out, y'all! Thanks for reading! I hope to inspire people as I progress. As of Tuesday of next week, both my kids will be in school during the day and I will be ramping up the training schedule! Look for it if you want to join me and follow along.

Returning after healing

I injured my psoas muscle earlier this year. Apparantly, that is a pretty significant injury. I kept thinking it just needed a few weeks to heal. But it took forever. I finally felt like I could really run at the beginning of July. So I got back at it and it was hard. Anything before that was just maintenance running. I'm now ready to get back at it and really work on the speed.

It was very discouraging to have to go through the healing process. Accepting that you are a human being and have limitations is always hard. Especially when it interferes with goals. Big goals. I had been aiming for the Boston marathon of 2015, but qualification on that is about to close. I'm now shooting for 2016. My muscle feels very weak right now and I feel prone to injury there. But I was in Arizona for the past three weeks at my parents house and worked on strengthening that muscle A LOT. So tonight I'll get out and see what I can do!

The biggest thing that will be helping me out with my goal is peace of mind. I have almost completely turned over the business to my seamstresses and my Administrative Assistant. Before when I would run I would worry about the mounting work or what emails I had to return to. But the business is almost functioning entirely without me. I still have a few specialty items I need to teach some of the girls how to do. But after that I'll just be "owner." :) And I can focus more on my family and my goals.

Headed out for a fast run in about 20 minutes. Let's see what I can do!

Stay tuned. . .

384 lbs of happiness

I could write volumes about the things I love about my husband. But today, I love how excited he gets about my job. We are now suppliers of window treatment parts. When our supplies came in from China today I texted him. He said, "384 lbs of cord lock happiness!" He was super excited and asked for detailed pictures and descriptions because he couldn't wait to get home to see what 384 lbs of cord locks and cord pulls looks like. I love that he gets excited and encourages my job. So anywho, my workout today began with carrying 14 boxes of cord locks and pulls totally 384 lbs. How much fun was that? I'd rather be passing a kidney stone.

I ran 8.02 miles today! And it was awesome! My goal is to run a 10K in one hour by Friday.

Best part of today, My husband says he wants to start running! He's been working out a little here and there the past month when he takes the kids to swim lessons. But tonight he said he wanted to do more after the kids go to bed! I'm super happy for him! He won't admit it, but I think I inspired him :)

I want to go pass out now from running so much. So I am going to go do that. Tomorrow I get to train a new seamstress, but back hard at work on Wednesday!

All I can say about going into this week is that I am so happy and happiness makes a huge difference. I used to run while angry. And that did seem to help me run faster ;) but it felt heavy. Like I felt like I had a weight on me as I ran. And I had a significant event happen yesterday that made that whole list of reasons I am running this marathon dwindle down significantly to just a few. And now that I am more focused and much happier with where my life is, I can say I feel the difference when I run. It has made me want to go further. I am so happy this week! I think that's a side affect of running ;)